Who says that a married man can't fall inlove with another woman?

First, let’s set aside the starry-eyed romantic language for the time being like ‘’when he kisses me we melt into one another.’’ The adults here are all too jaded to be fooled by it, and the teenagers here are too inexperienced to know what the heck you’re talking about. Let’s keep everything grounded in reality.

That said – ah, the joys of the illicit affair. One of the best relationships I ever had was with a married woman. In retrospect, I figured out why – it wasn’t a real relationship, and neither is yours. I have no doubt that he makes you feel things that you’ve never felt before and you’re happier spending time with him than possibly anyone else you’ve met, and the only reason that is that is the case is because you’re only getting the good parts – hot n’ heavy sex, whispered nothings, glittery promises of a romance stretching on into eternity – and none of the effort, the work, the compromise, the sacrifice, the arguing over the television that goes along with honestly committing your life to someone.

Let’s look at it strictly from a probability standpoint. Is it more likely that you’ve met the one person out of billions who is able to make you feel this way and (tragedy!) he’s married, or that you’re romanticizing something that, in any other circumstance, would evolve into a perfectly normal, pedestrian relationship? No relationship stays in the kiss-melting stage forever, and if you think that this one somehow will beat all odds and remain fresh and tingly for decades to come, you need to take a breath and regain your objectivity.

As for my married girl, I accepted the fact that there was NO possible way that the relationship would not end in heartbreak (even when married people do leave their spouses for their affair, statistically, the relationships are much more likely to end that the original marriage) and continued anyway for the immediate pleasure of it. It ended in heartbreak, and it took years before I was able to look objectively at the entire event and understand that if we had gotten together, it wouldn’t have worked very well. She liked activism for eff’s sake.

Morality aside, if you’re doing this only because you think he is your one and only ticket to happiness, you not only need to end the affair, you should probably think about getting into some therapy to figure out why you tie contentment so closely to relationships. Thinking like that will get you stuck in these situations every time.