Should I stick around this affair?

I’m a 21-yr old woman, having an affair with a 45-yr old man. He’s been married for 5 years with no kids. His wife, she’s 27, treats him terribly, but they work together politically and have a sort of forced relationship. They haven’t had sex in over 7 months, and before that only had sex every few months. He and I were together for 2 months before we were able to have sex, and now we have it a lot. Even before we were sexually involved, we had a pretty intense emotional affair. He’s just coming to the realization that I really do love him, and that I really do want to be with him (he didn’t believe me, thought it was too good to be true, etc.). He’s no longer romantically involved with his wife, we spend at least 12 hours of every day together, and we never get tired of each other…he’s introduced me to a lot of his friends, wishes he could take me to meet his family (has told one of his brothers about us), and he’s good friends with my sister and her boyfriend and everyone in my communal household. He’s starting to talk more and more about us being together forever, and I really, really want that to happen. So my question is, how stupid am I? Do these things ever end well, is it feasible that we could end up together? Could he actually love me? Alright, thanks to anyone who answers!

Answer #1

I do not know what is your problem. You have to see that even his marriage with his 27 yo wife could end into the present situation. However at the beginning that relationship might also be a romantic love. As yours is now. So, there is no guarantee for anything in this respect. Now you feel the big “FOREVER” feelings, but after some years that can just fly away. But of course, your love may remain also. Who knows? So what you have to do is to enjoy you present love. After, let’s say, three years, you should think of your future. E.g. how you will get children once, what are the chance to grow them at a good way, etc. Till that you will learn a lot about your 45 yo man and you will be wiser than today. Your presently very active s*x life may cool down a little, and you will see that what can do with each other with a tempered affection. If possible try to be a friend even of his present wife. Not a pushy way, only a friendly modest way. And NEVER say any bad at the present wife. If he complains about her, you must not enhance what he told. I mean never be adverse.

Answer #2

oomg please contact me because i am goign through the same thing and dont know what hte hell to think. i feel like no one would understand undless it was someone else going throgh this like me!!

Answer #3

Does he still live with his wife? If so, I would not trust a word he says. Even if they want to stay legally married but not have a “real” relationship, they certainly don’t have to live together.

I would be suspicious since you and his wife are both so young. It’s possible that he just preys on young women.

We can’t be sure though. We don’t know what he’s thinking and what he plans on doing. I would certainly be cautious if I were you though.

More Like This
Advisor

Sex

Sex education, Intimacy, Relationship advice

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Life Affair

Online Dating, Casual Sex, Hookup Apps