What should I do? I'm so confused and frustrated!?

Alrighty, well it all started about a month and a bit ago now. I was seeing this guy named Jay, things started all good for starters we spent a lot of time together. But after like a few weeks, he started to seem like he didnt want anything to do with me, and he acted like he didn’t care. Now during the time we were seeing eachother, we talked about relationships and stuff, and from what I’ve heard from him he sounded like he wanted a girlfriend but was too affraid of being hurt. ( I reckon because he was dating this chick a few years back and she cheated on him with one of his bestmates, and hasnt dated since then.) Anyway, he started to seem like he didnt want to see me anymore, so we both agreed on not seeing eachother anymore. But I honestly didnt want to stop seeing him. Now I never got to know why he didnt want to see me anymore, it killed me trying to figure out why, without asking him, so I was talking to his friends and they were really helpful on explaining him, his friend said, he was the kind of person who doesn’t know what he wants in life, he changes his mind all the time over everything, the only thing he’s committed too is his music, (rapping). He’s had like 2o different jobs and lived in 6 different houses over the year. Now when I found this out, I understood.. and I wanted to let him know that I understood why everything changed all of a sudden, and I explained to him that I knew what he was on about, and what his friend told me.. and he was all like how’d you figure me out and everything this is through txt messages by the way like ages of not talking to eachother, and he was getting confused, so I said it would be better if we talked face to face and stuff. So he agreed and then he picked me up and I went over his house and stayed the night, but the thing is I never got to talk to him, he seemed like he didnt want to talk about it.. and so I didnt bother. So after that we started to like see eachother agian, and it’s confusing, he is an extremely hard person to read. When we are together we are so comfortable with eachother, like I havent been comfortable with anyone but my ex.. So this is something I don’t want to lose. Now I really liek this guy no matter how confusing and frustrating he makes me, I still stick by him, like I think he’s using me, but it’s like I don’t care because I still get what I want for those few seconds of being with him.. But then again I don’t know if he just wants me for sex, because I stay at his house and sometimes we dont have sex, like he doesnt even try too have sex with me, even one bit AT ALL. He just hugs up to me and holds my hand and strokes my arm and stuff, and thats what I love.. it makes me feel good. But when I’m with him and his friends, he doesnt show a slight care really. So I try to do things that would make him jealous, just too see if he even cares, or likes me, because I don’t know if he does or not, like he doesnt so much affection. As much as I want to text him, just to see how his day went or just maybe if he even came accross thinking about me, I dont text him until he texts me which isnt until like 3 or 4 days maybe a week, and he usually texts me on the weekend to see if I wanna stay at his house or what I have planned for the weekend. I really like him, and I never have stuck by someone before like this if I thought they didnt care or like me or was using me.. That’s how I know I like him heaps.. I just don’t know what to do anymore, I always try to figure it out everyday without asking him. Because I’m trying not to come across like him, like not caring and stuff, so it seems like I dont care if he doesnt like me or care, but really I do :( Can someone pretty please HELP ME!! I’m so very sorry I like wrote a book, but I need to know what I can do and what this guy is on about! Any advice would be much helpful!

Answer #1

so, ok hold on… hes been cheated on and you try to make him jealous to see if he really cares?

dont you think that if hes got in his head that your gonna cheat on him just like his ex did that youve proven you will by flirting with other people? :S

I think hes being a gentleman by not wanting to sleep with you every chance he gets..

this is how I see it… your expecting a lot more from this relationship than hes willing to give..

if hes not ready to give it youll just have to back off and wait till hes ready :)

if you try and rush what he doesnt quite want yet youll lose him forever..

have you asked him if hes seeing someone else?

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