What should I do after I've failed at being a good daughter?

Get yourself into treatment…you’re in a vicious circle! You feel pain, then do alcohol and drugs to block the pain…then the drugs and alcohol add more pain…It’s a hard thing to see when you’re in it, but it’s clear from my perspective (and I have been exactly where you are right now). What you truly need are living skills…I know that sounds corney, but I can’t think of another way to say it…

Being a druggie and an alki does not make you a bad daughter…it simply makes you a druggie and an alki who’s behavior isn’t up to par… :) Just saying, it’s not YOU who are bad, the behavior that comes from being screwed up is bad.

Maybe be honest with your mom about your drugs and alcohol, she might actually be relieved to know that the child she raised is still inside…and get you the help you need.

phrannie

WOW the entire time I was reading your question I felt liek I was looking at the past of my life like no joke I used to be in the same situation as you but now im all better with a mother who cares and a loving family my dad left me when I was 12 and now im 16 my mom by her self I did the same thing you did out on all hours drugs and alcohol and acted as if I didnt give a damm and ma mom crying everyday

what I did was that I got my crap together before it was too late I spoke to my mom and cried and told her what a screw up I was and that the only thing she did was treat me with love I apologized and pleeded for forgiveness I told her I was going to better myself is she accepted me back in her life..at the age of 14 I was on my own with people older than me they were in there 20’s,

just do what I did talk to your mom about your mistakes and the reason that you did the things you did and I thnk you just felt alone and like you were abandoned by your father becasue thats the way I feel up to this date. =/ just apoligize even if you think you havent done any wrong and tell her things you can do to better your self like get a job go to college and help her out stop drinkign and using alcohol

hope I was of much help

So I’m not completely on the same page, but I have been at some point in time. I lived with my mom and step-dad too. My dad’s never really cared to have any of us a part of his life. The only time he talks to us is to let us know when someone died or my grandmas having dinner. I smoke. I mean, I drink every here and there and got into the coke scene. That’s the only time I’d drink is when I did that. I started cutting when I got in 7th grade and didn’t quit til about a year ago. I don’t know the full story of your life, but that doesn’t necessarily make you a bad daughter. Being defiant and making your own road to follow can go so many ways. I know it’s easier said than done to just try and straighten things out, but things are only gonna change if you want them to and put forth an effort. Your lifes what you make it. Everyone elses opinion shouldnt count. So if youre fine with the life you lead, then keep it. If not, it may take time to adjust to, but you can make it what you want. Just dont try to be something you arent. You can change your lifestyle and choices and still be you.

Well there are tons of things. I people on Funadvice for the most part are unrestricted so their will be raw unbidled truth readmitted to u,

You have acknoledged a prblem and need help. Not psychological but supportive. A friend to lean on or a relative. There is alwase enough time to straighten out any wrinkeld parts of youe life as long as you are willing to put forth the effort and time. First we need to start with the cutting. There are a million and one resons why you should or shouldent cut your self lets find the ONE your using and work that out (notice I don’t say fix) that would give you a lot more time to do what you may be set out to do now. As for drugs I would have to tell you that you must make the ethical decision here I know some release inhabitions and others make the pain go away just like cutting but that is only a short lived experience in the long run. You are folding under pressure be the stronger person to say NO I wont let my life slip any futher into the gutter. gett back to being a person.

   Your mother may put off her children due to some situation and its not right but it Does happen.  You mother depressed about you is a BIG sign thta she cares once you better yourself she in turn will begin to better herself.

Let there be a little light that goes off so that you are truely motivated to go and do exactly what you know you alredy Have to do. I cant force you to do anything, right now im just on the other side of the screen typing. Im doing my very best to help you.

–The Bin BIn

Well I’m only thirteen but I love to answer questions so Ill give it a shot here. This isn’t your fault. You nor your mom did this. The only reason she’s not putting you before any one else is because of what has happened. You should both take some time away from each other and just try to cool down. Go get help. You need support and encouragement to get through this. I’m sure you have a friend or family member that will be by your side while you get through this. First quit smoking, gradually. Then quit the drugs and last limit your drinking. Go to some support groups and listen to other peoples stories. When you think you are a little better you should then gradually start to spend more and more time with your mother to show her how much better you are getting. Eventually your mom will see how much better you are and you two will be like peanut butter and jelly. I wish you the best and lots of luck Hope I helped and I definitly hope you get better and things work out for the best. :)

rehab, get “cleaned” up, because if you could stop drinking, smoking, drugs you can get your life back on straight faster. also it would help your situation with your mom, show her your trying to get better. anything else let me no I could try and help

Keep smoking, keep drinking now and then, stop doing drugs completely, and get a job. Then after a loong time, contact your mom, have some coffee or smth, and keep contact regularly . You cannot fix the past.

Thank you for all your answers and opinions very helpful.

to ty what exactly do you mean by :

“And sorry, but a friend is not going to fix your life… I’m sure you have plenty of friends…” Im somewhat confused…