What should I do about my Abusive Step Dad?

You have a very hard situation and I am so sorry that you have to go through a terrible experience like that. Has he ever been physically abusive and are there drugs involved? You’re mother is very much in denial and she shouldn’t be letting another man talk to her children like that; even if it were your own father. Mental abuse is just as damaging as physical, and he sounds like he needs serious help. Your mother could be staying around for many reasons: she has become co-dependent on him and thinks she needs him because there are no other options, she is afraid he will actually live up to his threats by stalking her and trying to kill her, or she wants to try and help him get better and change him. Regardless, she should communicate with him when he treats you or your family like that, no matter what you or someone else may have done to upset him. Threatening to kill someone is never a right way to discipline someone, nor a way to cope with anger or jealousy issues. Every person has a choice to decide on how they will react. There can be many reasons to his abuse considering his past before your family, drug usage if any, and possibly even psychological problems that aren’t diagnosed. If the situation is that terrible, it should be brought to your father’s attention; if he is a good father himself! If he was a good father at all, he would take you and your brother in regardless of what your mom says. She cannot tell you that you cannot move in with your father whether it be in another country or in the same city if he has the same legal rights. Calling the cops will not make anything better, but probably just stir up the situation more, causing him to be angrier when the cops leave. I say that because he sounds like a bit of a con artist, talking his way into and out of things. The cops wouldn’t do anything either unless something dangerous were to happen because they have nothing to prove his violent words. It’s not that they don’t want to help, but they can only do so much, and without evidence, they cannot enforce anything. It would be a warning for them, and they may contact social services, but from personal experience social services are very weak. After many school visits and even home visits and many questioning, nothing was done about it. I would tell them mostly everything, (what I told them should have been enough) but I live in Louisiana; things could be very different where you are. Most abused children will lie and say everything is fine from despite everything going on in fear of everything getting back to their parents. Foster homes would want you, and many people are adopted everyday. Keep your head up and become stronger from it. Don’t ever feel sorry for yourself or use the terrible memories as an excuse to your self-inflicted problems, because it will only break you down in the long run. Don’t let him destroy your self-esteem, but refrain from fighting back with him and using sarcastic behavior because it will only make the situation worse. I could go on and on but I only know a little bit about your situation. I have lots more of advice for you if you want to talk more about it. Always know there is someone out there willing to listen to and help you!