What do you think of my story?

Here’s the story, hope you like it,

“it was there,” the old man said and pointed at the concrete a few feet away. “there she died.” Inhaling deeply he began his story. “jayne and richard, our son who later had a sex change to be come jayne, our daughter, loved going to the park. they would stay there all day. but one day they stayed to long, a girl with the name of laura and the hair of a deranged chipmunk, began to fall madly in love with them, killing a girl named lucy (who was of no relation to jayne and richard, lucy was merely at the park at the same time) so that she could have them” we moved closer to the spot and, suddenly images of laura with porn star hair wearing a pvc nurses costume attacked me. a hunch back girl with orange hair and big teeth, a set of two albino twins, a trampy cross eyed girl…and then a homosexual boy following another boy who was glaring at him while wearing a ripped v-neck jumper. “the party’s back on guys!” laura yelled. “its gonna have alcohol and music,” she continued, in a detached tone. “we can all go bowling and then back to my place where I will tie you up, oops I mean erm dance…in the dark. she threw herself at them but adam was always strong and managed to resist laura’s sexual advances. he fought against her and he threw her into the round-about.” laura began to scrawl a note reading ‘no going home’ in the writing style of a 3 year old who had been kicked in the head by a horse.

“stop kissing me you lesbian!” my hands tighten around a stray branch which I begin to fend laura off with. so she pulls some drugs from her hideous pink bag and begins to try to inject us with them. I karate kick the needle out of her hand, desperately running from her as she trips over her own feet and then spins around in circles. she quickly gets up and grabs my shirt. Her hand is greasy, clammy against my back and before I could even regain my senses there’s a stabbing into my arm as she injects me with the drugs. pain tears, like a flame, through my stomach. laura screams and I felt her small body clamber all over mine and hear her sexually raged breathing in my ear. but then even that is blocked out by the rush of blood pumping in my ears as she tries to drag me back to her cave (aka her house). ‘help,’ nobody hears me. ‘help…she’s drugged me and is planning to tie me to her bed’

Like from under a stormy sea I rose and took in a breath as if it were my last. I was lying on the floor right where… “oh god!” I cried out and dragged myself away. laura wrapped her leg over mine, pulling my pants off at the same time. “laura…no!” I shouted. “please don’t do this, take stuart instead!” Laura’s hideous hair flopped. “its ok adam, we can be together now, lucy is dead.” Panting I fell back, grabbing her disastrous mess of hair and pulling her off me, she screams in pain. “thank god. thank god! Oh yes I love how kinky you are adam!” “no laura, get off me” I scream in horror due to what she just said “so,” she began, “does this mean you… You want me? you really want me?” I looked up and a bead of sweat dripped into my eye, making me vomit at the idea of laura’s dna inside me. “erm no laura, haven’t you been listening I don’t want you, get off me” “but adam, i… i’m a lesbian now” “so… I still don’t want you” I replied