What do I do to make him realize my love and come crawling back?

When I first went out with this guy, I realized his the love of my life. He loved me for what I was. But then I was too possessive about him, and never gave him the space he wanted. And he too never complained until this came up during a fight, when it was not my mistake at all. He started saying things like am not the right girl for him, I wont keep him happy, all that stuff. He had also started to talk to another girl on the phone. He also started saying things like she ia better than me.and I couldn’t stand it. I went to his house and begged to take me back. And then he took me in his arms and hugged me tight and said he wont talk to that girl again. And yes he didn’t,and that he started it only because he couldn’t find the girl in me he fell in love with. I returned home happily.since then whenever things went wrong between us, he starts giving me bad words and says he’ll talk to that girl. And starts emotionally torturing me and asks me to leave him then I go crawling to him ask for forgiveness even if its not my mistake. Then again things come to its place. And the vicious cycle continues. Since then there have been lots of breakups and makeups. But I lost the person in him, who used to care for me and love me madly.

Recently after going through the internet I realized that every time I made a mistake by begging in front of him. That whenever he asks for a breakup I should accept and avoid keeping any contact with him, then he’ll come crawling back to me. That when his alone he’ll miss me, cause I left behind a lot of sweet moments we shared together and many litle things I used to do for him. Am sure he has not yet realized that as I never gave him a chance to think.

This time this is what I did. I want him to realize that he still loves me and am the love of his life. I want him back at any cost. But am afraid me not talking to him will take him all more the far from me.

Thanks allot thousand times for your reply. And please dont ask me to leave him, I cant even think of that.

Answer #1

Your fear of losing him is making you cling to him too tightly. I can understand your fear, but you’ll only make him push away more like this. You can’t force him to realize something that he may not even feel. You can’t force him to be with you if he doesn’t want to be, either. This is something he needs to realize and want himself, if that’s what he really wants.

That being said, I think you should give him space. Back off – the absence can make things more clear for him. Stop begging for him for chances. If he really does love you, he won’t let you go that easily. He WILL miss you.

If you give him the space and he’s happier without you, you need to care about him enough to let him go. You can’t make him stay with you if it only makes him feel miserable - it’s not fair to either of you. Loving someone means caring enough to be able to let go.

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