Worse and worse about wanting to be thin

For the past few months I’ve noticed I’ve been progressively getting worse and worse in wanting to be thin.

It all started about april time when I went on a school trip. I was about 107 lbs and 5’1 and was desperate to lose a bit weight but never did much about it.

Just so happens the food in germany wasn’t exactly to my liking, so for that week I was starving. I lost about 2 lbs that week and I’d kind of gotten used to feeling hungry all the time.

I came back and was terrified of putting on weight. I still am today. I’ve got myself down to 95lbs (I’m still 5’1) and something in my head is telling me to stop, but I can’t. I don’t want to gain weight, I want to lose it. I want to be thin. My friends tell me I am but I can’t believe them. They’re hardly going to say ‘oh yeah, your fat’, cause they’re lovely people.

It sounds stupid, but my boobs are tiny. They don’t even fill out a 32AA bra, and im terrified they’ll get any smaller if I lose weight, but it doesn’t stop me. It’s making me depressed and every time I go to eat food, and I mean EVERY time, I’m counting calories and totalling up how many I’ve ate.

Something inside me knows I’m being stupid, and having about 800 calories a day, like I’ve had today there abouts, isn’t good, but I can’t stop myself.

I don’t know what to do.