What are some good jokes to tell a prankster?

Pretend to be the local takeawy shop, put on an accent etc rofl.

Pretend they got though to an adult chat line, pretent to be like an automated pre recording (try not to laugh hard) and state it is costing them like £/$2 per minute (by this time it should be like 2 minutes into the call, so they shit themself for the £/$ they just think they wasted and hang up in panic, they wont call that number again anytime soon rofl).

Wisper when you say hello, 90% of people cannot recognise who it is when they hear someone wisper, will be fun them trying to guess who you are if they decide to probe and reply for once haha.

Dont say hello when you answer, w8 for somone to say hello first, if the weirdo pranking you does not talk, let them w8 for you to reply for as long as they are patient enough lol, in the man time your making them waste their time and money haha. Justleave the phone off the hook an go do shit, once you hear the beeping tone to put received back do so.

Have fun.

tell them the most stupid of jokes know to man…

say this is a really sexy kinky voice: hey baby… wanna here something really dirty?

and then in a normal voice… I just jumped into the mud

why dont chickens wear trousers? cus their pecker is on its head

I mean seriously lol

Knock knock.. Whos there? Poop Poop who?

get it? lol (:

If you can hear them breathing, you could have a pre-prepared diatribe about heavy breathing (or you can wing it if you think you can). Obviously the text isn’t particularly entertaining. The entertaining bit is all down to you and the delivery, which needs to be confident and with ample, well timed pauses. But that’s the same with any joke.

“Hello? Hello?… I’m sorry but I cannot hear you but I will assume you can hear me since you are still on the line. You know, it’s a remarkable device. At one end there is a microphone, and at the other, there is a speaker. Talking into the microphone allows other participants on the call to hear what you are saying. They can then speak back. This is commonly known as a ‘telephone conversation’.

Oh dear. You seem to be breathing very heavily. You know, heavy breathing symptoms are usually one of the major signs when experiencing a panic attack episode. A racing heart is the most common feeling that a person suffering from a panic attack goes through; this is a sign that sort of mimics the feeling of having a heart attack. When anxiety levels reach a certain point the heart will immediately start beating way out of control. This usually leads to a heavy breathing that is why this is the most frightening aspect of going through a panic attack.

Heavy breathing symptoms can lead to a number of factors such as:

Chest pains – Heavy breathing usually ripples into worse physical problems such as pesky chest pains.

Dizziness – People who are going through a panic attack often feel very dizzy. Although there are several reasons why people feel this way, but faster heart beats and longer the heavy breathing symptoms also lead to feelings of dizziness. Dizzy feelings can also come with hot flashes and or chills. Heavy breathing and other symptoms can make you feel like you are totally losing your mind.

You are probably suffering from a panic attack if you are always experiencing the following symptoms:

 Chills and or hot flashes  Palpitations, racing heart beat,  Shaking or trembling  Heavy breathing, shortness of breath  Sweating  Nausea  Feeling dizzy, light headed, unsteady or faint  Choking feeling  Chest pain or discomfort  Fear of dying  Feelings of losing control or going crazy  Feeling numb  Feeling detached from oneself  Feelings of unreality

I receive a lot of calls from people experiencing these symptoms. Often, it turns out these people are experiencing an emotion commonly known as love. Love and panic attacks have very similar symptoms and one can easily be mistaken for the other. If you are in any way uncertain which may apply to you, consider your ability to speak. People in love can speak, for starters. Given your restraint from speaking, it is an obvious conclusion that you are experiencing a panic attack…”

I’m sure you can finish or adapt that monologue yourself if you like it.