What are some good come backs?

Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.

Man: Do you want to dance? Woman: NO Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants.

Little Sister: Your Ugly. You: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is…

Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion? Yeah, so I see…all spotty

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I’m going to mine.

Man: So, what’s your sign? Woman: No Entry

Man: I know how to please a Woman. Woman: Well, please leave me alone.

Friend: I’ve just come back from the Beauticians You: Pity it was closed…

Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day! Woman: Go to hell

Friend: I’ve changed my mind… You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?

Boss: Employees like that don’t grow on trees you know… You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them…

Brother: Why do you smell funny? You: It’s called Soap - don’t think you’ve ever smelt it before…

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I’m a Female Impersonator.

Man: Hey there, haven’t I seen you some place before? Woman: Yes, and that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Say, haven’t we met before? Woman: Yes, I’m the head Nurse at the VD clinic.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: You know, you’re dead right…I want you to go away!

Wife: Darling, do you think I’ll lose my looks as I get older You: With luck, yes

Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining? You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought

Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here…

You know, I’ve been asked to get married over a hundreds times. Yeah, but your parents don’t count…

How many people work in your office? About half of them

Brother: I love biscuits You: That’s because your crackers

You: I reckon you’d make a great exchange student. Friend: Wow, you really think so? You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.