Why do I have to visit non-immediate family so often?

I don’t know what it is about them but, I cannot bear visiting my family. I got back in contact with my dad after 11 years of not seeing him just last week but, my cousins on his side are grown now and it feels like a chore to go visit them all. My dads in hospital and I can feel myself avoiding visiting him there just because I know they will be there!

I absolutely don’t mind my dad, and my brother (or my friends) but when it’s any other family member simply I cannot stand it. When I visit their house, I have nothing to say and I just cannot wait to leave. I’m constantly aware of the time, checking my mobile every 20 minutes. They know I’m not working and I that I don’t have much to do all day so, I feel vulnerable!! Those cousins I met up with said I was too quiet and asked if I’d be coming around again any time soon, I explained that we are all different people now that we’re grown. I only really wanted to say “hi” to them all and just only wanted to see my dad.

It’s the same on my mums side, my aunt is always wanting me to come over? I just don’t get why.

I feel obligated to visit them just because their family. Truthfully I’d rather not see them ever again. But I guess every six months would be bearable. Is that bad? Please tell me if this is all because I suffer from depression?? I feel so trapped and guilty. Thanks in advance for any replies x