Family problems-hubbys family is waste of time

Thanks-I appreciate that-I really do. I suppose it would be the easy option-easy for everyone else-not sounding like a whinger because I put other people before myself.I would probably do it with my own family but I have no feelings for my husbands family at all-they are nothing to me.Unfortunately-people on here can only read what I put-I know the type of people they really are-they arent nasty-they just don tthink-as many families dont but I’ve had this for over 16 years-but hey-they arent going to change I suppose. Thanks for your reply-really nice-. :)

They are not keeping in contact-but my husband wants to invite them round-and then I have to make them feel welcome.. I have always been civil to them-they dont reach out-they expect me and my partner to do all the running for them. Just seems I am the one to blame-and non is placed at their feet. Its nothing to do with kids either-everyone else has kids-its just us excluded . Maybe Im in the minority-I expect to be treated as I treat others-and when its a one way street it pees you off. Am I asking to much for someone to meet me half way-seems so. t

Ok, is Fau and Sunshine the same person? First of all, you marry your in-laws, they are apart of the complete package. And since you and hubby became 1 w/ being married, then yeah, go w/ him. Unless they disrespect you and by that I don’t mean you think they do, I mean they actually do and show it. Then screw that. Otherwise, just suck it up! My sis-in-law has fight nights all the time (UFC) and we don’t get invited. Turns out b/c it is a no kids allowed event, but that doesn’t stop them from inviting hubby. Hope this helps!

I think you are probably right-I just feel I have always been the one to give-and they do all the taking-and Im truly fed up with it. If they treated each other like this-then I could accept it better but they dont. Talking to them is a waste of time-my husband has told them before-they come out with excuses and make the effort for a week and then back to the old behaviour. why should I be the one to make the first move always?. why should I accept this treatment to keep the peace. I really appreciate what you have said though-makes me think but not change my opinion of them.

It seems you’ve placed expectations on your husband’s family and they’ve failed to deliver.

What you have to ask yourself is, are you actually hurt by this, or is it more a matter of what you think is fair?

Your husband wants to keep in touch with his family - that’s not such a selfish request. If your husband’s happiness is important to you, perhaps you should put away your expectations and accept that you will always be the one who has to make the first move.

If their behaviour is hurtful to you, maybe a sincere talk with them is long overdue.

I’m confused? If they’re not keeping in contact, then how is this coming up? So they do on occasion visit and want to keep in touch, just not to your liking? Nothing is black and white… This is your husbands family, for better or worse, you cant change that. No one is asking you to reach out to them. But is it too hard to be civil when they reach out?