How to compromise with disciplining our boys?

No, you shouldn’t see a thearpist. This is what you do. Let the boys do whatever they want on your shift. Only have them ask their father for everything. Make them know that dad is the one that makes all the rules, and that you are the fun one so there is no need to ask you for anything. Let that go on for as long as you can, with in reason of course. After about a few days of that your husband should come around.

You need to let him know that you guys are a team, trying to manage small people, and if you don’t work together then things won’t go as smoothly. You need to explain to him that you need him on your side to make things work. ECT>>>in a very nice voice of coure.

And if he still doesn’t listen, Well then divorce him. No I’m joking. Then you may need to have a third party intervene to keep the peace. Try not to go to a thearpist until you have no other choice. Because what that will do is make him feel cornered and lash out at you because he feels you are making it seem like you guys can handle it. If you can and this is only when all other measures have failed, try and get a friend or family member to be your coach, before getting the thearpist.

I hope this has helped some!

sometimes seeing a family therapist can help, but this is a simple problem, and it hasn’t progressed to much(I don’t think) you two need to sit down together(if you can’t then make seperate lists and work aroung them) and write a list of compromised rules..like,

say bob(we’ll say bob is your husband) thinks that when the boys right on the wall with crayons, they should have to clean it up, but you, beleive in showing them the right of there wrong and letting them express there artistic side and you like to just say something like” that is beautiful paul, but next time you want to show your artistic side, please do so on a peice of paper”…

compromise to make a rule of maybe..they should try to clean it up as best as they can maybe for a certain amount of time and then when their done..tell them next tiem to use a peice of paper.

First you have to agree on a plan of action that both of you can live with. If you cannot do this, counselling may be needed. I believe the best thing is to sit down with your husband when you do have time together and discuss what you both see in the future for your kids. If you can agree on this it is a starting point.. Compromise means both sides letting go and meeting somewhere in the middle.

Devise a way of communicating your interactions and disciplinary actions with the kids to your husband, and have him do the same by using a tape recorder. Before you make any disciplinary decisions listen to the recording to get your spouse’s input.

try to switch shifts because not only is that unhealthy for the kids it is for your marrige. you guys need to be on the same page about rules and you cannot do that if you barely see each other.good luck to you