Is the theory that boys/girls grow up to date and marry their mothers/fathers true?

I think so. All the guys I have dated which isn’t very many, act like my dad, very protective

I don’t think it’s true for everyone. Some people, maybe.

My boyfriend of over a year is nothing like my dad, but I love him with all my heart.

Not necessarily, I think it’s different for every person. Some people dislike their parents a lot and would never even dream of staying with someone like them, some don’t even have one or both of their parents in their lives, so they search for what they feel can fill the void they have.

If you have a great relationship with your parents and you admire a lot of their qualities, however, I think it’s quite possible that you’ll search for those in a partner. We all go for qualities that are appealing to us.

I dont think they’ve done a general study on it, so I cannot tell you whether it is true or not. What they have found is that some people do tend to learn certain patterns of behavior and then this continues when they get older. From what I’ve seen and heard from other clinicians this especially holds true in abusive households and drug/alcohol dependent ones. And it isn’t that they grow up to date their parents, it’s more a pattern of interacting they’ve learned and so they seek out that pattern. If say a girl has learned that a guy shows love through anger, possessiveness, jealousy and complete control because that’s how her father was towards her mother, then those are the characteristics she’ll go look for. If a guy has seen his mother be submissive then that’s what he’ll look for. I don’t know how much psychologists have looked into for otherwise healthy people.

in my opnion it all depends cause honestly my mother is a whore and my step father abusive and sexist does that mean i look for thoses traits in peaple? heck no. i look for peaple who have a similar personality to mine. my real dad and step mother are pretty good peaple in gerneral. i would like to marry a guy sorta like my dad. strong hard working always ready to listen and help but in the end i think its your heart who choices these choices for you not just based on your parents even though they may influtence the choice

The theories you’re talking about are Freud’s Oedipus and Electra Complexes. It was said that if a person passed through these stages, the ones where they became overly protective of the parent opposite their gender, they would grow up able to suppress it, but in Freud’s time, women were sort of pushed down an not considered, so they often resolved the feelings by marrying someone that reminded them of their fathers, usually subconsciously. Now that I think of it, this probably is also where the “daddy issues” theory comes from when people talk about strippers. When something is unresolved, when there’s slight trauma or a conflict that goes unsettled, the kids might grow up to unhealthy psychosexual lives.

Not always true. My husband to be is nothing like my dad (thank god) and I would never be with anyone who was like my dad.

I don’t think so, no. I know some people look up to their parents and want a partner similar to what their parents had i.e. the love happiness or whatever. My boyfriend however is NOTHING like my dad and I wouldn’t want someone like him either, because he is constantly sick and very hypocritical. So I suppose it depends on what you look in for a partner, if you admired your father a lot, then maybe you are looking for soemeone with similar morals and beliefs and end up with someone quite alike.

Some people yes, some people no. I should hope that the people who’s mother/father are a$$holes would not end up with someone of the same type. My father is one of those people, sadly, so I would kinda hope I don’t ever end up with someone that’s like him … Right now seems to be okay though so I’m good. However if they have a good mother/father, I don’t see why not… :)

I think its different for everybody. My boyfriend is nothing like my father, though he doesn remind me a bit of my mother some of the time.

In a way, yeah, my brothers girl friend is nothingg like my mum, cause they dont get on, but my boyfriend reminds me a bit of my dad:)x

People will naturally be drawn to what they’re comfortable with, which eventually leads them to be attracted to people with qualities found in their mother or father.