How can I pull myself away from suicidal thoughts?

Firstly you need to talk to someone professionally. You need to find a youth councellor. You likely dont want to tell your family so try to find one - it may be beneficial to ask your guidance councillor to recomend where to go.

Secondly, someone once told me - it is not wrong to have suicidal thoughts. People have these thoughts when their personal coping mechanisms are not able to bear the pain for which they are feeling.

Next Step: and this is advice I received from a health professional. By a cheap notebook, and have a pen attached to it.

When you feel this way or start to feel this way just stop for one second. Get out your notebook. Write down clearly and precicely at the top of the paper, “I promise I won’t do anything for 5 hours”. Under that, write down everything you feel or any thought that pops into your head (doesnt have to be full thoughts, just partial thoughts or words).

Also in this time, ask yourself if there is anything you will miss or things you don’t want to miss out on (ie. prom etc.). Think of what it would be like to be dead. This sounds morbid and counter productive. But I think things like “who will take care of my cats” and “what if my mom finds that bottle of lubricant”. Things that if I was dead, no one would be able to stop.

Finally, when you do calm down - which it sounds like you do eventually. Look at what you wrote down, and sit there and seriously look at it. You are going to slowly realize, and I promise you, a trend in things you feel and what sets you off. You are also going to realize that NONE of those things are in your control. You will likely also realize, and I hope you do, that they are in the grand scheme of all those things you thought you would miss out on being dead, not as big as they seemed when you were upset.

Those are tricks and tips I have. However, don’t try to fix it on your own. You do need to talk to someone, and I suggest strongly if you haven’t already to do it.

talk to someone and not on the internet, someone face to face, your doctore, a friend, a family member, a councellor… talk your problems out. You may not believe it at the moment but there is a hell of a lot to live for.

i have bipolar2 , i know how youare feeling but trust me there is help out there and you will get through it but you must accept help, no matter how long it takes.

Think about the things you can live for.