How can i stop suffocating in my family?

I can't take it anymore!! I'm suficating in this family I want to move away or kill them all or something. In this "loving" family I'm a burden, or so everyone says. I'm bad luck, a black sheep, a stick in the mud. I don't belong in this family at i'm not adopted, or a step sibling, but it's tempting to say I am. Why am I angry? Beacuse appearently I can't do anything right, I'm only average, and not speacialized in a certain area.
- I'm only average
- Has never gotten on the principal's list 90% and above
- Have no speacial area to have my parents gloat about, and since i'm suposedly the daughter of 2 asian mathematics I'm supose to be a super brain at math, but I'm not.
Appearance wise
- Short
- under weight
- too skinny for my own good
- Mother = way too over protected, keeps telling me I was a mistake and i should just leave.(it's not my fault I wa born I never asked to be given birth to at all!), a retard(because i'm only average), Stupid and all of the names in the book. She keeps trucking me around to places and never lets me go anywhere, because of one MAIN excuse I'M SHORT i'll get r a p e d, shot, kidnapped, but the thing is SHE'S the one whose ALWAYS complaining how she ALWAYS has to drive me around EVEYWHERE(I never asked her too, I said I could walk myself or bus to places. That's what legs are for WAlKING)
- Siblings, one is a super high graded acedemic shitty student, who has leadership and almost everything. the othe is an athlete in which she has way too much dress costumes forher damn competition, NON of her competitors have that many custom made dress like her. Not even the top seniors!!

I'm So SICK of this whenever I try to grow up they won't let me! I try to be more responsible but I magically some how make things worse when it's not even my fault at all. I really can't take this anymore try being in btw the 2 sblings! ones smart the other is athletic, I'm neither, I can't even have a little of both because everything i do is always taken away from me. For example my art classes, I LOVE them, but I had to give it all up because my siblings need the money to get more compitition wear or need the University tuition or something else, It's not fair nothing is ever mine to take.. or to have.!! Forget about talking because then they'll make me feel like I'm the one to blame for this and that so i should feel sorry for them not me. I'm sorry if this is REALLY long but i just can't take this any longer, when i'm legally allowed to leave I'M LEAVING!

2 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 2

i know how you feel. I have some family memebers that try to make me feel left out. And it have taken me a long time to figure this out, but.. since when does your family decide if you are a black sheep or a stick in the mud, or bad luck. Since when do they have the right to decide who you are and what you are going to be and what your made of. When life kicks you in the butt, kick it back! Don't let them bring you down all the time, of course, they can get to you sumtimes, but so can a complete stranger. You'll always have you bad days, but you will have your good ones too! Don't let them get to you. If they say something, just blow them off, find someone that you are close to that treats you how you should be and be with them. Don't let them get to you. And maybe they aren't 100% to blame for suficating you.. You're letting them do it. If someone put a pillow to your face and tried to suficate you are you goin' to just lie there still and make it easy for them, no you will fight.. So fight.

ANSWER #2 of 2

i know what u are feeling i have family members like that . heck becasue of some of my family memebers ive tried commiting suicide, but dont listen to your family is they say ur bad luck then just ignor it , its really hard to do i know but in the end it will be easier for you!! i used to get told that im to dumb to get into college so i proved them wrong and worked hardish and got in, and belive me is worth it to see the look on there faces!! just dont what ever you do just sit there and let them take u for a ride , cus it will bring you right down adn that in the long run is not good for u!!familys are hard to deal with but if they fight with you fight back!! X

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