Is there a way to make yourself stop having feelings for someone?

it is hard to forget but the easiest way is to forget about forgetting and then it will fade

No it is impossible.If you have feelings for someone in the b ack of your mind you always will. And really they never go away and for a long time its hard to stop even thinking about them. You can try but its hard. In still have feelings for someone but I have a Boyfriend and he kinda knows but even if he fully knew I would tell him to deal with it because I cant change that feeling. If you fing someone or something else that makes you happy it will help keep your mind of them.

dont hang around that person till the feeling desolves

blocking all communication would be awful and i would end up missing him like crazy… ive known him basically my whole life, i couldnt imagine not having him in it anymore

the issue is that we both want to be together, but because of an age difference we cant be right now :/ so i need to stop my feelings for him, or control them so it doesnt drive me insane

but if you forget about forgetting… doesnt that just mean you remember the feeling?

oh ok i understand now lol well sorry for the crazy comment it will be very hard to ingore the feelings for him cause im in ur situation and everytime i ignore the feelings i miss him more……..lol the drive insane part eat ice lol

:/ part of me has always really had feelings for him like even if i had a boyfriend and saw him, part of me would still feel something but it has never been problem because being with him has never been a serious possibility until now so i could ignore it “oh he will never see me that way” or “oh we cant, its not right” but now he does, and now we are older, and now i have no way of saying we cant expect because of my family age differnece means i need to stop driving myself crazy over him :/ i wish i could make feelings go away

:( thats probabily the easiest way to get the feelings to go, but the thing i want to do the least lol

thats what i do

eat ice? haha everytime i think i miss him or want to be with him go to my freezer and eat ice? lol well hey, it could work

yh just eat ice untile the feeling goes away and if youre in school and you miss him just start writing what you miss about him and drink somthing cold .

yep i works for me and experiences is the best story to help people right lol so yh tell me if it works other wise we will go to plan B

IF THAT DOESN’T WORK THEN WE MOVE TO PLAN BBBBB

whats plan b? o.0

f the person is someone of your childhood, then you will prob have the feeling forever. But your body and soul will ignore the feeling when you meet someone else. so just be natural when he is around.

I am in the exact same position, except he doesn’t feel the same way, and there’s no age difference. He’s my best guy friend, so I can’t ignore him. I have no idea what I’m going to do.. you could try focusing on all his bad qualities, instead of thinking of what you like about him..?

Well controlling anybody, usually doesn’t work out well. The only thing you can control is yourself. And the only thing you have control over is now not the future. Change your mindset role with him. If you want a friendship but not a relationship think in terms of being a friend and nothing beyond what it is now. Find what works for you in releasing or letting go of those “other” future thought projections. Like if he’s your best friend accept that role of thought but don’t project how far into the future the relationship will evolve into. That is for your journey down the road and destiny controls that.

well maybe you could try doing the opposite as me and thinking long term… if you go out and things work out, that could completely ruin your relationship…. or at best it will just change it, but its a guarentee nothing will be the same you could even loose him as a friend in the end

but if you stay friends and dont drift apart, you could be there for eachother basically all your life

so just be natural and wait to find someone else?

well thats a good way to look at it, focus on the now, and being friends, dont look to the ending because you will miss the journey

there isnt really a way i still cant get over my ex and we broke up in december so there is no way to get over someone

damn.

and im sorry about your ex

Instead of trying to stop yourself from feeling, you can dissociate those feelings from him. I mean, a feeling is something you actually feel, both in your heart as an emotion (let’s say, love) and in your body as a set of physical sensations. When the feelings that concern you arise, redirect the attention of your mind away from your mental image of him, and toward your own physical and emotional experience of how those feelings actually feel. The trick is to distinguish between the feelings themselves, which arise entirely within you, and the idea that those feelings have something to do with him. By doing this, you can retain all the life-energy of your feelings (rather than trying to numb yourself) while dissociating those feelings from the person who until now you have assigned to be their object.

is that even possible? 0.0 and then what happens to the dissociated feelings? isnt that how people end up with a wierd love or obsession with something else?

dont get me wrong, im going to try it but im just a little confused

That’s a great question, Bethany. No, it doesn’t become a weird love; rather, it’s a way to get over a weird love. You are able to feel love toward someone because you are inherently a loving person. That “lovingness” is part of you. Your feelings of love emerge from within you, and they remain part of who you are, available to your inner experience. But the association with a particular object is not inherent in that inner feeling. Your essential lovingness is not tied to one person or another. You can have loving feelings toward each member of your family, toward romantic partners, toward a mentor, etc. These attachments are formed when your responses to certain stimuli in your experience get reinforced by some mix of your conscious choices and other influences (like the excitement of the crowd around you cheering for Justin Bieber - just an example, lol). You could try to break your obsession with Justin (if you had one) by squashing your feelings of love. But personally, I think squashing feelings is seldom a good idea, and anyway, you have not had success with that approach. I’m suggesting that it fails because it puts you at odds with yourself, fighting your own feelings, your own life energy. Instead, you can claim that life energy, that love, back for yourself. Own it, so to speak. Feel it in your heart - not as your love for the guy you have in mind, but as your own essential, loving nature. When you tune into feeling of love that resides in you as your essential heart energy, and become more aware of that love as your own inner nature, then you will be less vulnerable to being jerked around by your attachments as though you were on a leash, and more free to live out your loving nature in the world as you choose, according to your abiding values. Does that help you understand what I mean, or have I just confused you further? {:^)

That actually makes a lot of sense. It seems better to use the emotions, rather than fighting them, and turn them into a positive factor in your heart and in your life.

Bingo!

probably the worse but true fact is time. find something that will occupy your mind, and that will keep you busy. someone else will eventually come around, and you will no longer think or have feelings about the first person

time does help… and distance seems to work even better… i think part of me will always wonder about him every now and then, like if we could have actually had or will ever have something, but maybe when Im older he will still want to try (like he says he does)… well until im 18 and we decide to go for it or not to, he will kinda be stuck in the back of my mind… but its ok, i know we cant, so the feelings are definitely slowly decreasing

well as long as you are making the decision that helps you move forwad in your life, even if right now it isn’t something we may want to do. best of luck to you

moving on, yes I am :) and thank you

haha, alright n/p

No, because if it is true love, what you feel now will be what you will feel forever. You cannot stop it so easily just by ignoring the person or blocking all source of communication. What you feel would still be true and would hold on, even without communication, even if you stop paying him attention. But if what you feel isn’t that deep yet, or what we call just “infatuation” or “crush” or.. you know… something like that, then supposedly the feeling would eventually fade away.

I doubt it is true love, but I kinda grew up with this guy and have always had feelings for him… even when I dont see him for months then he just stops by all those feelings that I thought were gone or that I should have outgrown come rushing back. So I guess the feelings are deep seeded, but not overpowering or crazy strong…. it’s hard to explain lol