Sleepless in florida

I have been living with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now and the economy is so bad here in florida that we decided that we would move to ny. We are originally both from ny and we both have family that currently resides there. I got laid off and he got really depressed and quit his job because he wasn’t making enough money(he is in sales). He wanted me to leave with him, but I, who has always been less impulsive than him, convinced him to go there for one month and get a job, and then come back to pick me up. I thought this was the most practical solution to a very stressful situation. He was becoming very edgey and moody and I thought it be best that he does this without me there so he can experience less pressure. He is staying at his brother’s house, which we will be renting together, it’s huge and a lot nicer than the house we rent in florida, and it’s in an affluent neighborhood with much more promise than florida. Now I regret not leaving with him because whenever I ask him when he is coming to pick me up, he just says at the end of the month but won’t give me a date. He says he doesn’t have enough money to drive to florida to pick me up right now and I am starting to think he won’t have it for some time. I am getting impatient, because I am in the same boat as him and am eager to relocate. I also have an interview set up in ny for july 3rd and from his vague responses on the phone I feel like I will not be there in time for it. When I question him, he gets annoyed, but I am getting scared because I don’t really have the money to pay another month’s rent here. The original plan was for him to pick me up in one month and it doesn’t look like it will happen. I am starting to get discouraged and I didn’t call him today because I was afraid if I did I would annoy him with the same question, “when are you coming to pick me up?” I thought if I didn’t call him, he would call me to say good night but he never did. I thought that usually works but oh well! Please help me because I am sleepless in florida.

Answer #1

Ok, first - everything happens for a reason, so try not to put regret in your mind. You had no way of knowing it was going to be so difficult to arrange you being picked up. Like you said, you thought at the time- it was the best way to handle the situation. I drove from Florida to Texas- and it is very expensive. Maybe you just need to try to be more patient. Try to take a walk in his shoes- does he feel hurt that you didnt come with him in the first place? Is he still adjusting to being in NY and trying to get himself situated? Does he have stuff going on with his family? Are you nagging him or asking him? I’m a nagger and I really don’t mean to be, but thats how guys will often take it. I hate when you think they will call or text when you don’t and then they dont! It does work sometimes, but not always. Maybe he needs a couple of days to himself, or maybe just text him hi- miss you with no pressure attached. Try explaining to him that you are sorry if you are fustrating him, you just miss him, etc and ask him if there is something deeper bothering him.

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