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should I wait or leave?

In the past i have talked about a guy named Brian and asked for advice on how to my parents about him. i told them and they won’t allow for me to see him but i still talk to him and see him on a regular basis. BUT the past weekend we were talkn and he told me that as soon as i turn 18 there is nothing from us being together. and he said if my parents won’t help me pay for my college anymore because i am with him he offered to help me out. well while we were at his house at like 2 30 in the morning his ex girlfriend showed up. oh and nobody knows that we still continue to talk to each other because he doesn’t want my parents finding out and him going to jail because of it. (he is 20, im 17) well when his ex showed up he went crazy he told me to hide under the bed and don’t come out until he comes back. he chased after her and PUNCHED her window out. and they started fighting and he hit her too. i was under the bed for 20 minutes i decide that i should get going home since i had to be home in a few minutes but the only problem was i didn’t have my car he drove me there. when i was standing by the door trying to see if they were outside he came running out of the back door and went into his car. i ran over and got into the passenger side and told him to take me home. he refused to take me home and got out of the car and went back in the house. and what im trying to get at here is should i just move on with my life with out him in it or should i continue to talk to him and just wait until im 18 to be with him? i ended up running through the woods to the road so i could call my friend to come get me. and all he could say to me the next day was WHY DIDN’T YOU WAIT.. Please help me i don’t know what to do.

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Answer #1

After what he did to his ex gf, why would you want to be with him now?. What excuse did he give you for why his ex was there at that time of the morning? Your his gf, why was he hiding you? That just doesnt make any sense. I bet that wasnt the first time shes been at his house since you 2 have been dating! He just might be getting some extra on the side! I dont think hes being completely honest with you. You are letting this guy control you whether you realize it or not. For 1 thing, your going against your parents on being with him. Not being respectful of parents is never a good sign on the type of guy he is. A 20 yr old should be able to wait for the girl he loves. I mean, YOUR not going anywhere! Hes letting you abuse your parents trust, just because hes getting what he wants from you! No mature man would do that. After what he did to his ex gf, you need to give some very serious thought on your future. You know he is capable of abuse! He did it to her, he will do it to you! Hold off on the sex, and see if this guy will still be waiting for you………………………..bet he doesnt!! Good Luck hun….i really think your gonna need it!!!!

Answer #2

good to hear hun, you know deep down you deserve better. Of cause you will miss him but you no mr right is out there waiting for you and will come into your life when you least expect it. Take some ‘me time’ for now and get yourself stronger.

Answer #3

he has never ever laided a hand on me. and we have been on and off for about 6 months. last weekend was one of the off times. but i have lost. i told him to stay out of my life and never to come back. will i miss him yes but like u all said he’s not worth it anymore. thank you all for the great advice.

Answer #4

The only thing i can say about this is, if he treats his ex this way, what makes you so sure that he wont lay a hand on you in the furture as well? do you really wanna upset your family and chose him over them when there is a chance he could turn out abusive?

Answer #5

if you saw him hitting a girl why do you want to be with him, if he hits her he will hit you and no man is worth a beating sorry

Answer #6

Good for you! Sounds like you are intelligent & responsible & just had a short time of having your emotions turned around by the wrong guy. Hope the next time you get involved with someone it is with someone who won’t ask you to hide from anyone!! At your age a difference of 3 or 4 years is very big in most cases. In your 20’s a few years doesn’t make much difference. And this guy sounded like trouble in a big way!

Answer #7

This 20 year old needs to grow up! I am like the previous responders, I bet that is not the first time the Ex has been to his house since you have been dating. And for him to tell you to hide under the bed. There is NO WAY! You are supposedly his girlfriend, Why are you the one hiding? And the abuse……Is that ok with you? You should realize that if he treats her like that what makes you think you would be any different? I mean my gosh he made you HIDE UNDER THE BED for 20 minutes. Lose him!!!

Answer #8

good to hear you got rid of him, it may hurt for now but give it some time and it will get better, good luck hun

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