Should I stay or should I go?

Thanks for the input:) although I didn’t mean to sound like I was on a “moral high horse” and I would like to know how I retracted it. I simply meant that although I think its degrading I understand why some do it. anyway thanks:)

The warm-fuzzy answer is, “No one should make you do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing,” but in this case, I think that answer is a pile of bunkum that’s not going to serve in your best interests. You are in desperate need to step outside of your comfort zone for a while and experience some new things, and it sounds like your brother is trying to help you do it. Your reasons for not wanting to go to this club are vague, half-formed notions based on…what exactly, I’m not sure, since you’ve never been. And the line “I don’t know why but I think I will feel intimidated” is more telling than anything else. You have a preconceived idea of what it will be like and have decided to make a flimsy moral rationalization to justify your hesitancy.

Go out with your brother. Try something new. If you’re uncomfortable with it, don’t go again, but if you allow yourself to relax and get off your moral high horse for a while, you might just have fun with something you never pictured yourself doing before.

gonna repost what mikeh said because its the best advice

Go out with your brother. Try something new. If you’re uncomfortable with it, don’t go again, but if you allow yourself to relax and get off your moral high horse for a while, you might just have fun with something you never pictured yourself doing before.

As a clarification: It was the line “I find them to be degrading to women” that earned the “moral high horse” comment, but reading it again, it doesn’t seem like he believes even that much, because he retracts it in the very next phrase. If he really felt it was wrong, I would be more inclined to agree with you, breezey, but I don’t believe it. I think he said it because he thought it was what he was supposed to say.

The overarching impression I still get is of someone who has arbitrarily decided not to like something without any clear reasons why, just flimsy rationalizations, and those are exactly the sort of people that need to get out and try new things more often.

I felt a little bit of retraction in the line “although some women choose to work at places like that its their choice.” I’ll say this about strip clubs being degrading –

I used to live in Portland, OR, which has the highest number of strip clubs per capita than any other city in the US. My roommate April and I, while we weren’t in strip clubs all the time, went every once in a while (one place had amazing steaks, no lie). Having a girl with me made us very approachable, and so we would very often talk to the dancers after they were done with their sets. We never spoke to a single dancer in any club that wasn’t enthusiastic about their profession and all were very forthcoming talking about it. If we had suggested to any one of them that they were being degraded, they would have laughed in our faces. While clutching an enormous pile of money.

While I won’t suggest that that is the rule for every exotic dancer – I understand that it does happen that girls do get trapped by a life of sex and drugs – it was definitely my experience. Most dancers you meet are more than happy to take as much money from horny idiots as possible, many love playing a role of a seductress, and many just really love dancing but don’t have the ability to make it in ballet or its other permutations.