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Should I feel guilty that my Mom has a boyfriend?

My mom and dad recently split up. We moved from England to Scotland and I had to move schools and everything. We had to move into a womans refuge because my mom told everyone that my dad hit us - but he didnt. Now she has a boyfriend after splitting up with my dad after a 12 year marriage. She got this boyfriend just 3 weeks after my mom and dad split up. i wanted to stay with my dad in england but she wouldnt let me. so now i am in scotland. i cant help but like my mums boyfriend and he is always really nice to me but i feel so guilty towards my dad. Eveyone in the area that we lived in before we moved to scotland thinks that my dad is a wife/children beater when he isnt. I miss my dad so much but i love my mum too so i dont want to bring up the whole domestic violence thing because she shouts at me and tells me i dont know what im talking about. please help me..

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Answer #1

i went through this when i was 13. my parents split up and just 2 months after that she had a boyfriend. My father was an acoholic, so she left him. i didnt want to like him but i couldnt help it. He tried so hard for my brothers and me to like him. he bought us really expensive gifts and he was really sweet to my mom. but i felt as if i was betraying my father by liking him. it finally consumed my everythought and i broke down into tears and i told my mom, she let me go stay with my dad for a while after he cleaned up his act. my best advice is that you have to be honest with your mom. and speak to her rationally. explain to her that u like her new boyfriend but i love your father too much. and you’d like to stay with your dad. and if she truely believes he was abusive and you adn your father know he isnt. ask him to take an anger managment class, he may not really need the classes but it will show your mum that he wants to be in your life and he is changing.

Answer #2

hi…in this world this has bcum so common & i feel sad 4 u…bt surely i can help u with this..il suggest u the ways..y dont u spk.to ur mum & stay with ur mum for 3 months or so & later with dad for 3 months or so…i think this will do justice to u..as you will be giving ur time to both & u can prove to ur old locality that ur dad isnt a wife/daughter beater & even u will come out from being guilty as there will b a chang in the envirnoment & dont take decisions of staying alone plzzz…& ofcourse ur mum will feel lonely after leaving ur dad who stayed with her for over 12 years its so natural that she wud luk for another man jz to spend time & forget that loneliness & to be comfortable so dn give your mind too much of tensions everything will b gud soon.take care hope u have a blessed future…reply once u read this…regards tinchu india tinchu_ropin@hotmail.com

Answer #3

It’s TOTALLY natural to feel like that! I mean think about it, this is the guy that has been watching over you for your entire life. He’s one of the first people you ever laid eyes when you were born. Of course you’ll feel guilty, but think of it this way. You don’t have to accept your mom’s boyfriend as your “new dad” Just see him as her boyfriend, and if they ever marry, then still see him as her husband, but not your dad. Your dad in England will ALWAYS be your dad, no matter what!

Answer #4

mm.Sarah took thw rods form my mouth.go with her advice. =]

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