How do I politely ask my aunt to keep up with the house after I'm done cleaning it?

I don’t mind cleaning the house, I mean hey, she’s helping me go to collage(more like she helped me get finiancial aid, but there’s still the cost of food & the extra electric I suppose), however I told her I would pay her back, & it’s beyond filthy almost all the time. She has tile & it looks like she’s black carpet in some areas. I’ll sweep, mop, clean the counters, tables & computer desk & sometimes even the floor. When she get’s home it’s dirtied up again. Every morning that I get up I clean ash & trash off the computer desk & animal excretions out of the living room(they’re fully grown dogs). & I’m just sick of it. I’ll do dishes cuz it’s the only sink running in the house & I’m sick of washing my hands or brushing my teeth in a sink full of dishes, & none of them are mine(literally none, from time to time I may have a fork or a plate but only bcuz I had planned on washing the dishes later that night anyways). She’s also a chain smoker and the cigarette smell is overwhelming. If I leave my bedroom door open for too long my bedding will start to smell like an ashtray. I’m OCD and I just can NOT stand this filth anymore.

Answer #1

These are intolerable living conditions. It sounds like your aunt is pretty stuck in her ways and has no intention of changing, so you have two choices: Move out and get your own place, or call the health department and have them come in and enforce standards.

Answer #2

Sit her down and just tell her that you put alot of effort and time into cleaning the home, and while you dont mind doing it, youd appreciate if she would make an effort to keep it clean. If she doesnt get the hint…stop cleeaning and let her see how much filth she creates pile up.

Answer #3

I suppose, though her house never use to be like this two years ago. I also feel as though I’m stuck. I’ve little money saved up & am trying to find a job. If I moved back to my mother’s I’ld be stuck in the same rut I was before. I wouldn’t ‘be able to get schooling done(can’t find one that has the corse I’m looking for), no transporation(since my aunt is a teacher at the school I’m going at I really don’t have to worry), & no one is hiring over there. As I stated, I really don’t mind cleaning, I would just like it to remain clean longer thana few hours, & I feel calling the health department may be to drastic(though I’m sure when I first got here I could).

Answer #4

How would I go about wording it where she wouldn’t take offence? I tried the second option before. She started asking me to clean, annd started getting additude in her voice from time to time. FInally she’ld clean herself, but a half @ssed job, and it would still be dirty again within a day though not quite as bad.

Answer #5

well I’m not sure about politely, because I’m one for using shock tactics, and telling her that bacteria in filthy houses can manifest into diseases and so on. So maybe do some research into it and try and shock her clean

Answer #6

I’m going to say some things you may not like, but this all comes down to you. You can’t change her or anyone else for that matter. Trying to is like beating your head against a brick wall. The sooner you accept that she’s not going to change, the happier you will be. Any changes you could make in her, would be temporary, as you probably already know. People only change for there own reasons, not for other people’s. Decide right now what you can handle & what you can’t. If it’s worth it for you to stay, you’ll have to suck it up. Study & eat elsewhere, it already kinda sounds like you are doing that. But if you decide you can’t put up with it and you leave school, that’s your choice. Just be real about both sides and remember this is only temporary, we can do anything for a couple years. Give yourself credit for the strength you have to endure what you have so far. Good luck!

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