Issues with my Dad

Im going to bullet point this problem because it is to long and confusing to write out in a paragraph, please help!

  • my dad moved out moved into a flat of his own then moved in with my best friends mom who I have been best mates with since we were little and our moms knew eachother for years before we was born aswell my dad got married my dad said nothing will change but it has…
  • I dont get to see my dad without his wife or her daughter being there,
  • he doesnt act/talk like he used to and he just sounds like his wife
  • I barely see his side of the family
  • my step sister sees his side of the fam where she shouldnt be I should
  • I barely see ma dad
  • we dont go anywhere unless his wife or her daughter is with him
  • he doesnt see us on christmas because he says he wants to spend time with his beer and not have to drive around [he isnt an alcoholic]
  • he doesnt playfight wth me or joke with me anymore but he does it with my step sister so when I go to his I dont feel like his daughter, I feel like ma stepsisters mate that he is shy to joke around with loads more but I will be here forever hopefully you get the drift of what he is like
  • when I call him I am on loudspeaker so that my step sis and his wife can hear me
  • this means I cant talk to my dad about certain things because ..
  1. I dont want them to know and
  2. What I say will be spread around the whole world plus *when I go to my dads his wife doesnt like me sitting next to him and when I finally do she goes all moody with me and my dad even though she sees him every day of her life when I only see him like once every 2 or 3 weeks ?!
  • when I hug my dad on the sete or summet its like my step sister gets jealous and wants to get his attention or something and she goes and hugs him too which pisses me off
  • I feel like he isnt my dad anymore and he is just different
  • when I try and tell him these things it has to be infront of the wife and her kid because im either on loudspeaker or he tells me there isnt nothing wrong in talking infront of his wife and her daughter when there is but I just say forget it
  • but I have told him on the phone how I feel when his wife and her daughter are listening and he tells me im stupid and its nothing like that and he says this is my wife and she will be around me for the rest of my life *plus I get my 6 year old sister asking me when dad is coming home
  • and asking him to come home when she speaks to him on the phone and tells him he can sleep in her bed if he wants and she will sleep on the floor
  • bearing in mind she has never had my dad live with her because when he left she wasnt born and it gets me and my bro/sis/mom soo upset to hear her say things like that I dont like it I dont know how to handle this situation thanks for reading please help
Answer #1

I know it doesnt happen to me alone so thats why I have asked this for people to help as other people may know what I should do, and my dad is important to me! plus you said I should leave other peoples lives alone? you are making me sound like im the bad 1 here when im not! all I do is try and spend time with MY dad but I cant because people get in the way. and I know it isnt my problem about what happened between me and my mom but you ovb dont understand that it does still hurt and I will get upset about it so it is a problem to me thanks for the help but it didnt make a difference at all because all you have basically told me to do is pretend I dont have a dad because he “isnt” important when he is. and it does take time to move on with your life after family matters happen as im sure many people should know and I take longer to accept it as everyone deals with things diferent and that how I am. sorry but its true

Answer #2

im 14

Answer #3

answer to blkbeauty - my mom wasnt married to him so the courts didnt get involved and I get coucilling on my own at the moe because of that and lots of other things, but at the moment they arent really helping they are just listening writing it down and then twisting what I say so that I sound stupid if you understand what I mean, and I do pray for a lot of things but they havent come to me yet I just need to wait. answer to ethmer - I like the idea of the dinner I will try that but I know even if I ask him not to he will bring his wife along too and she will turn up with this smurk on her face like always but hey dont knoc it till ya try it enit, answer to ramalta0807, its ok soz for going off on one at ya

Answer #4

Parents divorce and at times seems like the children get the short end of the stick a lot. Write down everything that you feel. Ask your dad if you two can spend a weekend together.

Sounds like the stepmom maybe jealous of you and if that is the case then she’s immature. The bond between father and child should never be invaded by no one.

Write a journal it will help you get over the tough times. Pray I know it’s hard right now but one day you will have peace come over you and you will see everything in a different light.

Did the courts order family counseling? Did you speak to your mother about this? Pray baby and know that your dad will come around one way or another.

Answer #5

Simply a Rose to brighten your day,         And maybe lessen the cares in your way;         And also, too, to help you to know,         That in knowing you, many others grow!

Welcome to Fun Advice!

I don’t really know how to advise you. I would suggest that you “Print” what you posted and find a way to somehow be alone with your dad then give it to him to read so that he can understand. He probably doesn’t really realize how you are growing up and how important he is to you.

Maybe you could save up some money then invite him out to a father-daughter dinner where you would have a chance to communicate your feelings and concerns to him.

  Fun Mail a “sounding board”!

I would assume that you can’t talk about what you are going through with anyone because it is too personal and you don’t want others to know about it in relation to you.

The solution, then, might be to pick someone on Fun Advice whose advice you like and Fun Mail them. (You can check out the quality of someone’s advice by clicking on their name; going down to their recent advice, click on view all, then click on the questions that might interest you and view their answers.) Explain to them that you are having problems and want to have someone to use as a “sounding board” and would like to know if they would be willing to be your sounding board. Fun Mail is basically private, so you shouldn’t have any concerns about your privacy.

Although there are many users on Fun Advice who would be qualified, I’d suggest the person be an Advisor, for two reasons: First, most Advisors have several hundred or even thousands of Answers under their belt which can really give you a perspective about them; and second, you can simply click on the Advisors link at the top of the page and view a list of the most recently active Advisors with information about them AND a total of their Answers. (Don’t contact them by that “Ask me a question” link. That’s public. Instead, click on their name which will take you to their Profile page, then click on the “Send me Fun Mail” link on the left side of the page.)

You also have the ability to Fun Mail anyone (Advisor or otherwise) by clicking on the “Send me Fun Mail” link near the top of the Answer under the person’s name.

Answer #6

Make your dad notice you!! There is no reason why he shouldn’t be paying attention to his daughter!

Answer #7

its ok ramatla0807 and my reply to blkbeauty, well my mom wasnt married to my dad so the oourts wernt involved but I have depression and I go to like a non mainstream school because of other things and I have councelling that isnt really helping at the moment cus they twist things and I dont like talking to them because of it if you understand what I mean, and I talk to my mom but then she starts to get upset and then I feel bad so I try to avoid it. I do pray aswell, for a lot of things but they never come so I just have to be patient until they do. and last but not least.. my reply to ethmer, I like the idea about the dinner but he would just bring his wife along even if I ask him not to because thats the way he is, I know this because my sister asked him to come for a drink with him on her birthday [to be father and daughter] and she asked him not to bring his wife and she turned up with a big fat smurk on her face as if to say ha you cant get rid of me and like if im younger than her there is no chance he will listen to me but I can still try it. thanks

Answer #8

sorry about all the replys its because when I post them they dont show up so I think it hasnt worked and I re-do it but I will try not to do that mistake again

Answer #9

Your prayers will be answered when you quit trying so hard, let it go and see if things don’t turn around for you, the wife is intimadated with you as the step sister also, don’t worry he cheated on your mom, he will cheat also on this one, he will get sick of her smothering his well being, then he will realize what he has done to his family, his conscience won’t let him forget, absence makes the heart grow fonder, many blessings to you and your family, Summerrainn

Answer #10

How old are you?

Answer #11

I no exactly what your going through because my dads similar but even worse I’ve learned that he has a new life an my only choices are 2 aceppt it an feel invincable are take him outta my life I wish you best of luck with your dad

Answer #12

ok thanks for your advice

Answer #13

ok

Answer #14

Wow I know someone just like you. Usually she doesn’t talk about it often. Sorry hun don’t know what to tell ya. I’ll get back wit you.

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