How can I get my parents to just listen?

I want to go on a trip with my neighbors this weekend but my dad can’t sit down for two minutes to talk about it. My mom only goes with what my dad says..she has no say in anything. Whenever I bring up a subject he doesn’t like he just walks away no matter how calm or collected I am. I don’t know how to talk to him or to get him to listen to what I have to say..any help?

Answer #1

I’ll tell you one thing, besides this pending trip.. There seems as if to be a larger issue. You’re parents are the adults, and realize they are acting like children.. Now, this doesn’t mean to disrespect them, not that you would.. You seem as if you have a level head about you, but there is this Parental Vs. Child situation going on.. Know it or not, their ignoring you is very negative & never a good thing. This is how I would try and approach such a subject..

“Dad, I would really like to talk with you.. You’re input is important to me, believe me.. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t care to talk to you. Now you may think I simply want to talk, when I want something.. and I can see where you would see that. Though Dad.. A lot of the times I am looking to you for answers & approval, sometimes I want to ask you questions.. yet it seems as if you always walk away from me.. I am you’re daughter, if you don’t want me to do things, then at least give me a good reason why.. Why can’t we ever just talk, I feel like you shoot me down before I ever even gain a sentence; Can we talk.. please?”

He may respond by saying he is busy, or that he is your dad, and no means no, and this and that.. Just remember it is about control.. Though do bare in mind, this is hopefully more so of his concern and of your best interest, he has to trust you sometime.. or he never will.. Listen.. I’m sure he cares & loves you very much, and it may just be that he doesn’t know exactly the right way to communicate with you. Your mom however, as per what you’ve described. Seems to be more passive & would rather let your father do the talking etc. Talk with your mom! You know, tell her how you feel about her always bending to your dad.. Tell her you want to talk to her to, you 3 need to communicate.. Now, on the other hand.. You are still the child, and it isn’t really you’re role as such to have to be the one to mediate all this, and its so not fair trust me I know.. But be the young adult I know you are.. Don’t be afraid to show how you feel & talk with them.. IF they can’t listen, it is not your fault sweetie.. Its theirs for being closed off. But you shouldn’t have to be the one to open them, but this doesn’t mean that you can not speak you’re peace & tell them how you feel, or ask for their guidance or approval, thats why they are parents.. IF they still won’t listen to you, maybe you could find an adult that you know would listen to you, but they would listen to as well, perhapses to kind of mediate, so they understand where you are. Because your not getting any younger, and before they know it.. You wont even need their help.. You’ll be grown.. But right now, it is the time where you’re still there & in their house and oh I hate this phrase so much but “Under my roof, my rules” Which has always bothered me, that doesn’t mean they can read your diary or barge in on you while you’re having a relaxing read or, playing a video game. You have your space & time alone to.. Now, again.. I am not saying disrespect them, always show them respect, but try to bring them down to you’re world for a bit, because theres may be a little foggy. :-) I know parents can be a pain,but parents are usually loving & mean well and only want whats best for you. Things will work out, and it may just take some time. And you may have to miss a few trips or fun things, which is very unfair I know! I use to hate it and it sucked.. and now that I think about it, it still aggravates me a bit.. But My parents have learned a lot from me, maybe even more than I learned from them! HAHA! Because though us parents (And I am one) Teach our children, they are teaching us!

I think you’ll be fine dear.. Don’t give up! And love your self always! Because you are important & you know it!

Take care, Good like hun.. ~Ben~

Answer #2

Your parents only want what is good for you. My daughter was in a very serious wreck when I let her go with my neighbors a few years ago, so I am very wary about her doing that again. Maybe you have done something that let them down? Or there is another reason for their behavior? Maybe if you could talk to a grandparent and get them to come with you and all sit down calmly and talk, things might be different. We don’t know the whole story, so it is really hard to say, but GOOD LUCK.

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