My mom is making our relationship miserable

Ever since my fiance and I got engaged and have a baby on the way my mom has been making our relationship miserable. She brags about how she has a grandbaby on the way and brags to people how much she loves her son in law, so there is nothing she’s ashamed about.

Ever since the engagement she is always sticking her nose in our relationship, him and I like to keep things between us two so it’s really bothering us. When we get into arguments we just like to talk it out but my mom starts interfering with it which ends up setting us both off. She has even gone as far as telling us when to hug and kiss each other, she’ll be like ‘go give her a kiss’ out of nowhere and we really don’t like this.

We have plans to marry in September and my mom is making this tough, I tell her to just keep her nose out of our relationship and she refuses. Her and my father have a tough marriage, they fight all day mostly due to financial issues because they are both laid off. My mom is paying all her attention to our relationship and not her own, it seems like shes so unhappy with hers she’s trying to make ours the same way, I don’t know…

How can I stop this? I really feel this is happening due to her own relationship problems but she really needs to just let us do our thing, him and I barley ever argued before and her always getting in our business is causing more arguments than ever. Him and I have talked about this together and agree something needs to be said to her to make her understand. We are both mature adults and had a perfect relationship until she got in this, I don’t even know where it came from, she was never like this till the pregnancy and engagement. Jealousy maybe?

What can I say to her that wont hurt her feelings. Something has to be said before I end up lashing out, I cant handle it.

Answer #1

tell her that it’s your realationship and she has no right to tell you what to do she just wants YOUR relationship she thinks that it is perfect but the truth is she is happy for you this is what she calls for your own good but it’s really for her’s just tell her that she has made your relationship hell and she needs to back off

Answer #2

I have a question. Do you still live with her? That can make things a lot more difficult, you’ll just have to stand strong.

I suggest inviting her for coffee and try to speak to her in a grown up manner about it and telling her what she is doing to you (even though this is probably unethical, you could throw in the fact that it is stressing you and your baby out)

I had a similar problem with my boyfriend’s mother a while ago and after a few bad arguments (they weren’t fun) she started backing off and now relatively leaves us alone.

Also get your boyfriend to step in, parents tend to “hear” better when it’s not their kids telling them what a the problem is.

Answer #3

Well Stephanie you and him are grown ups and she has to respect that. Not sure if this is what you want to hear but if she keeps on doing it,simply ignore her and like I do with my family,write her a letter/note telling her to butt out or you will have to do something that you just don’t want to but she’s forcing you to.

If she ignores the letter/note,talk to her alone and tell her what’s up and that she can’t always run or interfere with your relationship. You and your fiance are in love and she needs to leave you be and let you live your own life and she has no choice but to accept it.

Long story short Steph,tell her she has no choice but to accept the fact that you love your life how it is and she has to butt out before something bad happens.

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