My Girlfriend wont go down on me.

My girlfriend and a I have been dating for about 6 months. shortly before I met her, she had a fling with this guy, and though she claims to have never had any real feelings for him, she got drunk one night and went down on him twice. early in our relationship I mentioned that I would like her to go down on me, I didnt make her or get mad, I just mentioned that it would be nice. I have gone down on her before and she used to hate it, but I told her to give me a chance and that maybe she would like it. she told me that she enjoyed it, and wouldnt mind me doing it again if I wanted to, but if I didnt want to then she would be ok with that and she said that the sex was more than enough for her. im not a big fan of going down on girls but I love my girlfriend and wanted to do something that is solely for her pleasure, and I thought that it might make her less nervous about going down on me. shortly after this she began to tell me that she was working herself up to going down on me. her parents were going to be gone for a week so I was going to spend the weekend at her place, for the 2 weeks leading up to the friday I was going over, she built up that she was ready to go down on me almost excited about it, naturally I was about it too. when the day came all we did was have sex, that night I asked her what happened to her preparedness, she said that she had forgotten but that she would do it the next night, so I dropped the subject. next day was the same, nothing. I asked her again and she said that once again she had forgotten, and that the next time we had a chance she would. this was a couple of months ago. and it was kind of a dead subject until recently, when I mentioned it again. then the other night she was drunk and I was in a meeting, and she sent me a text message reading “hurry up I want to give you head”. I got out of the meeting picked her up to come spend the night at my place, and when we got there we got into bed and she kissed me and said good night and went to sleep. when I showed her the text message the next day she said that she would have if she hadnt been so tired but that if she got drunk enough at our party that weekend that she would. at the party we were dancing, and she told me that she wanted to give me head, I said I wasnt sure if I would let her do it drunk, because she wouldnt be doing it becuase she wanted to, she would be doing only because she was drunk enough. her reply was “I dont care, im going to tie you to the head board so you cant stop me.” to me it sounded like she was serious. once again after the party though, we got back to my place, and she fell asleep as soon as we were in bed. I am starting to get mad. she is just teasing me, getting me worked up about it then deciding not to do it. it would be different if she wasnt bringing it up and telling me she will and then not doing it. also I feel like what is different between me and the fling, why was he good enough or hot enough or whatever that she OFFERED to do it and she wont do it for me. she always has an excuse for why she didnt, like “I was tired”, “what if im bad”, “I forgot”, and “its gross”. I cant remind her because I will feel like im forcing her. I dont care if it isnt great, im willing to work with her, it wont make me love her any less. am I being unreasonable? what should I do, remind her, forget about it or what?

Answer #1

um one you lucky she is even having sex with you, I personally dont believe in sex before marriage so ja but two how about you just forget and let it happen if and when she is ready.. tell her you ok with it not happening and that you dont want to feel at all pressured..

Answer #2


Answer #3

ever think that she was ashamed of what she did and do you think that you pressured her into she was drunk. I think you should tke a whileto think this out÷(

Answer #4

u dont much like going down on girls so surely you can understand why she might not like going down on you. Girls tend to be more shy and I think taking a penis in your mouth is harder than licking a girls bits so she is probably nervous. She may think that you are expecting it to be wonnderful and she is not going to be able to please you. all of these feelings can put a girl right off. If you are mature enough you will get her into a conmversation about it and ask her if shes worried and what she doesnt like about it. You may be able to reassure her and let her feel more in control to try this with you x

Answer #5

sounds like she doesnt like doing it. but doesnt want to tell you no.

Answer #6

I also didn’t like giving blowjobs to my man. However after quite a while together I felt like I needed to> He goes down on me quite frequently and I LOVE IT!!! You would think I would do the favor. He has only asked a handful of times and I just kind of blew it off. I don’t know why, it’s not like I haven’t enjoyed it before> I just felt uncomfortable doing it. After a bit I just kind of felt like our sex life was very routine and seriously who wants that. He didn’t have to pressure me, but was very patient. She unfortunately will do it when she is ready to and you could either wait or move on. She does sound kinda like a tease to me if she is calling you telling you she will do it. I told him once while we were out to dinner and he thought I was kidding. We did do it once we got home and it was wonderful. It was just me pleasuring him as he did so many times for me. I would recommend that you don’t get off in her mouth the first time as it could turn her off though. I do hope she realizes that it could be quite wonderful if she is relaxed. And 69 is just fantastic what was I waiting 4 anyway.

Answer #7

I hate to say it but if you go down on her and she wont do it for you and you have been in a long relationship its sorta bs. cause idc what anyone of the girls say its as hard for a guy to go down on a girl as it is for a girl to go down on a guy. I’ve had lots of relationships several long last ones and if a girl really loves you she will do anything that willl please you as you would do for her. cause you have done the favor for her she is obligated to return the favor. so my advice for you is to tell her you are very dissatisfied with her decision and tell her you really care for her. tell her thats its not vital (cause its not) but you feel that she doesnt love you as much as you do her because of what you are willing to do for her already. tell her that shes not the only one uncomfortable in the same situation and tell her you feel the same when way you do it and you got over it cause you love her and will do anything to please her and make her feel good. then ask her why she isnt willing to do the same. cause in every relationship there is sacrifice everything isnt always peachy and you always do things that you do not like in a relationship. if she still gives you the run around after that I dont care what anyone says then she is not completley in love with you. if people disagree with what I said then ask yourself this… if you wont do a simple thing such as oral sex what will it mean when it comes to more serious sacrifices. sex is just fun there are no setbacks in a relationship from it. and also tell your girlfriend that you will always be there when she needs something no matter what but you expect her to do the same for you.

Answer #8

Mentioning the age of you and your girlfriend would be helpful as many younger girls tend to not be into it until a little later in life. If oral sex is important to you, I would think long and hard over this because this may be a red flag of permanency. If she is always saying no now and it appears that there’s no changing her in sight, then you may want to just move on and let her become some other guy’s misfortune and look for a girl who actually cares enough for you to please you. We’re men and we have needs. If the girl is unwilling to see that, then we shouldn’t be willing to continue the waste of time that the relationship has become (in that area). Think of how disappointed with yourself and life in general you will be when you hit 40 years of age and realize all the wonderful blowjobs you missed out on in life. While all your best friends over the years were getting sucked off at least weekly, you were lucky to get one a year, if that. Kick her to the curb if she fails to change her ways. Good luck man.

Answer #9

first of all id like to thank you. im sure the way you see this is how my boyfriend sees it. The reason why I wouldnt go down on him was because I actually have feelings for him and care about how good I am. All I want to do his please him. Im sure its the same for her. My boyfriend tells me hes willing to work with me too. So im sure were in the exact situation. Only on different sides. The first time I gave my boyfriend head, he implied thats all he wanted. He said he wanted me to do it so bad. And he started masterbaiting. He wouldnt stop looking at me and pleading for me to do it while he was. It made me want to do it so I tried it and I kinda liked it. Try the same thing. She might stop after a few seconds but thats just because shes scared and doesnt completely know what to do. Just tell her that made you feel good and keep begging. If she does something wrong like use her teeth try to let it slide a little until she gets more into it. then tell her it would feel better if she did it “this way”. Soon enough you might not get her to stop. :)

Answer #10

Tbh it took my 6 months too go down on my boyfriend… It can be hard for us girls… my boyfriend was patient with me and understood how I felt… So maybe yu sud do the same be patient with her… just make her feel special.

Answer #11

Did You ever think that maybe she didnt want to give the other guy head? But did it anyways? Maybe she felt pressured that time. I think you should judt let her do it when she is good and ready..

Hope this helped.

Answer #12

the next time you guys are in bed and not sleeping make a deal with her say if she does it first youll do it to her

Answer #13

Oh my god get a grip!!! I hate giving head for personal reasons but I have done it in the past to keep the man happy and it makes me feel like shit. at the end of the day, if you love her it wouldnt matter, its not the biggest thing in the world believe me!! my boyf dosnt like to go down on me either no matter how much I want it but I dont let that ruin what we have together, you twit

Answer #14

Seriously, I kind of have the reverse problem. I go down on my man all the time and he doesn’t seem to go down on me. I don’t smell and I think I can say this with out being too cocky but I am a very attractive girl and I just don’t know why he won’t. It starts to hurt your self esteem right? You are asking yourself all these meaningless questions like does she not love me enough? Stuff like that. I am positive my man loves me he is super loyal and hasn’t touched another girl in a year and a few months. We have been together off and on and I used to love it when he would stop making love to me and eat me then start again- it was heaven but he just doesn’t seem to want to. I have just recently started dating him again but we have only been official for a few days. We have had sex since we met and our intercourse is great but all I can fantasize about is what he won’t give me. OH AND…if you are a guy out there reading this please help. For the guy that has the girlfriend that won’t go downstairs just continue to love her and maybe suggest if you go down that she could go down… ask her what her deepest fantasy is…then tell her yours. :) I am seriously such a laid back person about sex very open about it and I think honesty is the best thing you can own in the bedroom as well as confidence. I just don’t know why my man won’t. I really suck him and get him off like every night and maybe get a fifteen second lick from him every month is about the trade off. REALLY I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO…HELP PLEASE!!!- the girl that gives but never receives…:(

Answer #15

talk to her calmy about how you feel. you sound like a sincere guy and its obvious you care about her extremely. so maybe talking about it will help ease her into it. and shes a girl, girls love talking about how they feel. lol. just be very understanding of what she is saying and let her know you dont expect her to be perfect, you just want to try something new. and give her encouragement =]

Answer #16

I don’t think she’s trying to tease you, she probly just doesn’t like it.. it sounds like she’s avoiding it because she doesn’t want to do it and its difficult for her.. if you care about her, you shouldnt get angry about it… with my girlfriend, I’m completely in love with her and its very similar… I know how confusing it is.. she’s tried a couple times, but it didn’t last long, but she also has trouble breathing while doing it, so thats part of it… the longest she did it for was when she was drunk, but I felt the same way as you, like I was taking advantage, but she just did it without me asking her.. but that only happened once and I dont expect to happen again.. if thats the easiest way for your girlfriend to do it, then let her if she wants to.. I think it would only be a problem if she’s getting drunk all the time just to give you head, then I would back off..

as for the other guy she gave head to.. this may sound weird, but maybe his dick size is a lot smaller then yours and it was easier for her… or maybe she was just making it up because she just met you at the time and was afraid you would lose interest if you knew she didn’t like it … it could also be that she had a bad experience before and that she’s afraid to tell you… im not too experienced with relationships, so I hope my advice isn’t way off.. but even if its none of those things, try to be understanding… it sounds like she cares a lot about you and wants to try even though its hard for her… maybe one day it’ll get easier for her, or maybe not… but theres nothing wrong with jerking off when your by yourself and dreaming about it.. maybe thats all you have, and I know it sucks… but if you love this girl, then theres more to your relationship then just giving and recieving oral .. I dont know how im saying all this because I have a lot of trouble sometimes too, but hang in there…

Answer #17

It sounds like she scared.But she really does want to please you its just that she doesnt know how to do it or is scared to.No offence but it sounds like your pressuring her.Talk to her about it ask her questions about why she wont do it!MAYBE JUST MAYBE youll find out why and I dont know but it could have something to do with the dude she gave head too before hope I helped:)

Answer #18

you’re not being unreasonable at all. obviously your girlfriend is uncomfortable with going down on you for whatever reason. maybe the fling was an unpleasant experience she doesn’t want to relive? maybe she is uncomfortable because she doesn’t know what to do. either way it seems kind of unfair that you’ll do for her but she won’t return the favor. try asking her if there is a real problem (of course her sudden spells of sleepiness are not the real reason) if she trusts you she will be honest

Answer #19

My God… Can’t You Tell She Probably Only Says Shes Gunna Do It Because You Wunt Her To Sooo Bad And You Keep asking Hurr..and Because Your Making Hurr Feel Guiltyy. For Goodness Sake Yaw Above Me Aree Stupid He Didn’t Hook Up With No Tease. She Just Don’t Wunt To Do It Yet. and Helloeee Genious She Whuz Drunkk when She Gave The Other Dude Head. People Do a lot Of Stupid Things When There Drunk My Bestfriend Stripped On Tha Table When She Whuz Drunk. Anyways It Seems More Like Your Tryna Force Hurr To Do Something She Just Don’t Want To Do Yet. and Tryna Make Hurr Feel Guiltyy For Giving Just Some Guy With A Fling Head and Not You. Mayby There Whuz More To That Story That She Ain’t Tell You. Like Mayby It Whuz Gross and Regretting To Hurr…All Im Saying Is If Youu Really Love That girl Like Youu “SUPPOSIBLYYY” Sayyy Youu Do, Then You Wouldn’t Keep Questionin Hurr About That. and Let Hurr Do Stuff When She’s Ready. Because If She Does It Now And Ain’t Ready Just Does It Tah Make You Happy and Shut Up, She Might End Up Regrettin YOUUU and What She Did With YOUUU. and You Don’t Want To Be The Boy She Regrets If You Really So Called Love Hurr.!

-Shaylin Niyee Soulliard

Answer #20

My husband and I have been married for over a year and I only just gave him head a few weeks ago. I had a very bad experience when I was younger and didn’t like to give him head. It took me this long to get over my past and be able to do it. And I still don’t like it very much but I do it for him bc he likes it so much. So she may not be comfortable with it and may need to be drunk to be able to do it comfortably unless she is drunk. If I drank, that would probably be my situation too…but I don’t drink so I wouldn’t know…

Answer #21

Giving head isn’t bad at all. and it’s not hard. actually eating a girl out is way worse. I kinda like giving head :)

Answer #22

omg dude if you truley do love her then give her time to work up to it! if you rush her then shell just keep playing with you

Answer #23

okay 2 me it sounds like she really wants 2 go down on yooh but maybe when shes all ready and wants 2 go down on yooh she thinks about that one guy she had the fling with and mite be kinda disgusted with he expierence and is afraid that yooh will be sorta similar 2 him

or maybe she wants you 2 no that yooh are special and that she really does want to go odwn on yooh but when yooh guys are 2gether and everythings about 2 happen she gets scared and backs out and makes up pitty excuses

I did exactly what shes doing with yooh except this was 4 my 1st kiss I wood always be like ya I want to kiss yooh I do and blah blah blah but when we were 2gether and everything was so real I got scared and backed out.!

hope I helped xoxo

Answer #24

Hey I feel for you man, I am in a similar situation… my girl will do a little licky licky but thas about it. I think that its probably not because she doesn’t like you, and like others said she was drunk with that guy. It seems to me that she’s probably just not comfortable with it. Think about it… would you want to stick a dlck in your mouth?? I wouldn’t . . .it’s one thing to lick some ice cream.. but another to lick a lollipop. I think this is relatively common. Maybe she was raised Catholic.. and she’s afraid the holy trinity will pop out of your dlck… who knows? What I would suggest is that you give her lots and lots of oral. Tell her how you love to make her feel good, and I mean love! Don’t say it with the tone of voice like you’re trying to suggest to her that she should do it… this is counter -productive and she’ll likely resent it. Show that you genuinely love to make her climax with your tongue, and eventually she’ll want to do it to you too. So stick it my man, and start doing tongue pushups because it can be a lot of work!

Answer #25

I am going to be the girl talking in this post… I dated a guy for four months, broke up with him for my best friend after me and my boyfriend f*ed. 3-4 months later, we “reunite”… I end up giving him head. Here’s how he FINALLY got me to do it. He sat down and I kneeled on the floor. He got me really horny before, then would grab me by the “throat” [DO NOT HURT HER WHEN DOING THIS…] and kiss me and then slowly get my head farther and farther down. eventually, I just DID IT… Best of luck!!! -And PLEASE dont EVER do it when shes drunk. she’ll regret it!! and you might too…

Answer #26

well mabe she just doesnt like it and shes trying not to say it straight out to youu just be patient or drop it dont be selfish at least your having sex

Answer #27

maybe she feels bad saying no, but dosnt want to. If you care about her this is what you should do. Talk to her calmly and sincere and caring tell her that you feel a little jelouse of the guy she had a fling with and ask do want to get down on me/? say I dont care the answer I just want to know because im getting the feeling you dont but you keep saying you will. let her know you just want to know her thoughts if she says she dosnt want to let you down or dosnt wanna do it say thats okay I still love you give her a vig hug and kiss her (: if she says she does say are you sure, I dont wanna pressure you or anything if shes suree give her a hug and kiss her (: then hold her hand for a while to let her know you care.

Answer #28

dude if she is having sex with you but wont suck you off just start eating her out all the time and refuse to have sex with her till she gives you head. your not completly cuttin her off but it will pay off in the end.

Answer #29

Ok so yeah Im a girl and I love it when my boy goes down and If I dont do it I’ll totally say next time and when Im in the moment I’ll totally chicken out!!! But why she is not doing it could be for a BILLION reasons so you’ll have to find a way to open her up about it…

Answer #30

Hey sad story try telling her to use flavored condoms she might not like the taste in her mouth. I think that sucks for you that’s one of the favorite things I like to do when I have sex.

Answer #31

I ave never done dis but it can be VERYnerve rackin because she does not know what your thinkin so maybee just tak bout it and see how you both feel !! hope I helped

Answer #32

your girlfriend sounds a whole lot like me. my boyfriend wants me to go down on him… he does it for me,a and yeah, I like it. but it freaks me out to return the favor. I really dont know what it is. it’s not the taste. and it’s not even the uncomfortableness, though it sometimes makes my jaw ache (maybe I’m not doing it right).

luckily my boyfriend understands when I say I just dont really want to do it, and he doesn’t pressure me. Occasionally he’ll ask again, but if I say no, he drops the issue. Maybe that’s what you need to do with your girl. I know that him not pushing it allows me to once in a very long while go down on him, when I’m ready.

I know a lot of times I’ve promised “next time”, but it doesn’t happen. It doesn’t mean I’m trying to tease him, I really do intend to pleasure him… only then I chicken out, or I just get too scared… I can’t explain it.

Just try to be understanding and patient with her, and if she can’t do it, there’s plenty of other things to do!!

Answer #33

that sucks for both of you when I started going down I didn’t like it it was embaresing I didn’t know how to breath or how not to gag it’s not somthing you are good at right away. That was 11 years ago my husband and I have been together for 12 years now so I have had a lot of practice and you just have to let her know it’s ok don’t be embarrest the more you do it the better you get the more you like it. I like it so much now I crave it

Answer #34

put on some luther vandross, candles lit, lights off, aroma blasting of sweet almonds and chrismas cakes, kiss her on her lips softly, make sure your hands caress every sensual part of her body, kiss her neck and work your way down. Like a tease, she’ll be breathing heavier in a sexual way, her hearbeat is racing, juices flowing and right when youre about to lick that region…clap twice LIGHTS POP ON, MUSIC STOPS, STUFF DRIES UP AND Tell her “ NOT GOING ANYWHERE FOR A WHILE???

Answer #35

she sounds like a difficult woman to please, either way you lose. refuse to have sex with her until she commits herself to her promise, or I would consider one of the idea’s from above. but she sounds tricky and shes got you right where she wants you, I feel for you.


Answer #36

Wow… my boyfriend must be asking himself the same Q…I hardly ever go down on him and neither do I expect him to go down on me… Though he does ask me to do it for him.. I find it slightly gross… And we’ve been together for 2 years now… So I guess it’s not the end of the world… If you really want her to do this… Just withhold sex for a while… masturbate in the meanwhile… And let her know that you feel hurt that you do so much for her.. lol and she doesn’t return the favor… it’s a risk though… don’t know if she hates going down on you enough to leave you…!

Answer #37

that’s kind of stupid, she will have sex with you but won’t give you head? if she thinks it is gross then why did she do it 2 times with another guy! I think you hooked up with a tease.

Answer #38

Start off with a nice bath( candles, bubbles, incense, the lights off) after that go into the bedroom and give her a nice foot and back massage using almondseed oil or shea butter with some candllight. then start kissing her all over start on one foot work your way up to the head and then down to the other foot avoiding the pubic region. this will probly drive her mad and she will want you to just get on with it. after she is well wound up you finally give her her wish. then after she climax’s you then lay next to her and pull her close. as you are laying there tell her in a soft sexual voice that you would like her to go down on you.

Answer #39

stop asking her to do it. Yah, she forgot but you should remember next time when you get into bed. Don’t ask, just work it down. Asking just breaks the feeling dude. If she doesn’t like it, then she doesn’t like it. People are all different. At least she had the sense to txt you when you really felt like it.

Answer #40

Okay it sounds like she just doesnt want to do it. She might not have liked it when she had the fling but she doesnt want to make you paraniod because she wont. She loves you right and if you love her you wont pressure her maby mention every now and again when its getting heavy but always tell her its her chose.

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