How do I ask my mom to take me to counselling without her questioning me?

well she knows i have bad low self esteem issues but she really doesnt care that much and sometimes makes them worse and i know if i told her that i wanted to go to counseling to help with that she would tell me thats a stupid reason, she wont take me, or she doesnt have time. she has already made me stop going once because she just didnt want to take me anymore so she took me shopping that day instead? so i kind of dont want to tell her because i have a feeling she will say no and i dont feel comfortable talking to a school counselor at all.

School councelors are not that bad, you wont feel contorble talking to him/her at first because you don’t trust him/her at first, but nobody can do that. You just have to give it time. Meaby when she took you shoping that day, she wanted to spend time with her, and see if you could talk to her, meaby she could fix it?

its not that i dont trust them its just that im extremely shy and dont want them knowing about my problems because i have to deal with them for the next 4 years.. but no she literally told me she didnt want to take me because she thinks its pointless and to make up for it she took me shopping. i try to talk to her but she either blows me off or we get into an argument over how i should feel or theres nothing wrong with me or something even though i try to tell her that everyone handles situations differently.. thats why i feel that counseling is the best thing :/