Let love in or let love go?

I’m currently dating an ex boyfriend, his totally amazing and is everything a girl would want in a guy. At the moment we’re taking things really slow as I’ve been through a lot. For the past 3 years I’ve been in love with my ex/ current best friend. The last 2 years in secoindary school we dated on and off, and he was totally in love with me, but I didnt know if I felt the same. Then when I realised that I did, we had a huge argument and he told me he was totally over me and didnt ever wanna be with me again. That was 3 years ago, and we’re still close friends, and I still am madly in love with him. I’ve dated guys since him, but I’ve never felt the same way about them. about 6 weeks ago I sent him an email telling him exactly how I felt. I never got a reply so I figured he didnt wanna know about it. So I decided to give things ago with someone else, he knows everything that happened between me and my bestie so his agreed to take things slow… But last night I spoke to my bestie and he told me that he’d only just read the email, he dropped hints about wanting to talk about it, but now he knows im with someone so he doesnt wanna as he doesnt wanna ruin my relationship…anbd because of that I dont know what to do…I was happy with my current guy but now im so confused and back to where I started…wanting my bestie. Any advice on what I should do?