insecurity

I dont agree with sam-13….this type of behavior is very unhealthy. Its the start of a controlling relationship, which only gets worse! It has alot to do with insecurity issues. Read on> I wanted to send a warning out to all of my relationship-seeking friends concerning the nature of a potentially possessive and controlling companions. It might seem that your boyfriend or girlfriend has a small insecurity problem and you might even think it is cute when he or she sticks by your side, asks you all sorts of personal questions, wants all of the details of your past relationships and demands to know whom you talk to. You might even be flattered by all of the sudden attention. But I want you to stop and seriously assess your relationship if your new partner is coming on a bit too strong. There might be a very serious and negative drawback to this behavior. When you first get involved with someone who is a bit pushy you may be so turned off you will end up walking away. But every so often you come across what seems to be the greatest person you have ever met, and even though he or she is a little bit “over the top”, you don’t care because you are falling in love with that person irregardless of his or her possessive nature. You can’t help it, everyone falls in love from time to time. If that person is seriously falling in love with you too, that is why he/she is treating you in such a controlling manner. However, their feelings are coming out in a controlling form due to a much deeper philosophy. Pretty soon that person is checking your email, demanding to know which ex-lover you still speak to, asking who you speak to at work who might be of the opposite sex and more. The attention flatters you and you might even fall deeper in love because you are convinced that this attention means that they are really serious about you! Pretty soon your relationship goes up a notch. Your obsessed and possessive partner asks you not to talk to certain people of the opposite sex, mainly your exes, you can’t go out for a night with your girlfriends or guy friends, he or she calls you constantly, your phone calls, text messages and emails are continuously monitored and pretty soon it gets to the point where you are not even allowed to speak to someone of the opposite sex. There is a main and fundamental reason why your loved one was acting so suspicious, controlling and possessive. The reason why, and I am sure you have heard this before, is because he or she is afraid you will treat them they way they are prone to behave. For example, if your man or woman is suspicious of you flirting with other people, that is because your lover is the real flirt. What often happens next is that you find out about your partner’s true lifestyle and behavior after he or she already has you in their grip. You have become emotionally dependent on them, and then you find out that you have been betrayed time and time again without you ever knowing it. This is why emotional dependency is wrong. You, and only you, are the one person who should be making yourself happy about you, not your lover. A person in this situation needs to break free. It does not mean you have to break free from the relationship. There are many things that can be overcome and if love is true, the relationship will prevail. But a person dealing with the loss of his or her control over the emotional life needs to work on restoring that independence and it can be as simple as making a conscious effort. No longer will you let him or her dominate your personal life, you will end up getting back your social life and you will make an effort to realize that you do not need that person to make you happy. You can do that all on your own. Take charge of your own life, and dont rely on someone else to make you happy!! Good Luck!