I just want to get this off my chest, I'm a wreck.

So this is about my ex girlfriend breaking up with me. I just need to tell somebody this and everything. SO we had dated for a year and a half. The first time I met her was she walked over to my house with her friend and we all smoked weed. The first time I saw her I felt a connection to her. Not love, but I liked her instantly when I saw her. She later told me she felt the same way. SO, I’m kind of a shy guy. I talked to her on the computer a lot and I hung out with her every now and then. 2 months later I asked her out, 2 days after christmas. I was thrilled, 2 weeks in we had our first kiss, well kinda. We went to the busses and I was going to kiss her and some kid pushed me so I kind of missed by an inch lmao. But after that we did it right :) that was teh first time I kissed a girl I liked. So we dated for a couple months, she got me a cool shirt for my bday, got her roses on valentines day. Then began a problem. We had dated for 3 months and she didn’t make out with me yet. I tried once and she said she didn’t want to. Then I tried again another week and she did it for like a second, stopped 1 second in and left my house crying. This happened like 6 times and always caused a big fight. Then spring break came. I didn’t see her the whole time I don’t know why. But this was the first time I told her I loved her. I was drunk and we got in a fight, I felt really bad and told her I’m sorry, and that I loved her. she said it back and alwayts asked if I just said it cause I was drunk, I said no. 6 months in, she finally makes out with me. awesome also 10th grade starts. We dated the whole 10th grade. We shared a locker. I began wanting to do stuff with her. about sometime in september I first slid my hand up her shirt. First time I ever grabbed boobs. then we started to do sexual stuff, after about 9 months of dating. just hand stuff. then on new years we stayted the night together. first time I got oral. I began getting impatient and pressuring her wit hsex. This is embarassing, but I will tell you anyways. I would always say I ‘d wish she’d do it and stuff. The thing is, we would get naked and be all in the moment and stuff, and when we’d try to actually have sex it just wouldn’t go it. we did this like 3 times, and even though she was trying I still Fing pressured her for it even though she was trying, I was a complete scumbag. 3 days from end of school we lose our virginity to each other after around 1 1/2 years. Then It all goes downhill. She starts hanging outwith another dude around june 20 not much happens, they’re just friends and I trusted her. So it’s all good actually, nothing happened. okay 4th of July. So, I broke up with her becasuse she was sneaking around with the other kid, brendan. Like, not telling me. Driving around with him and staying out to 2:30. She didn’t kiss him or touch him or hug him or anything. But this really upset me. I broke up with her for some reason and then we got back together on 4 july but I asked her to hangout up at the fair thing where she was at that I was going adn she said no she was wit h her friends and her friedns were etc etc etc Brendan. She wouldn’t hangout with me because she was with him. she lied and said it was her friends boyfriends cousin. I was pissed. I told her to F off.

ANyways, I spend the day drinking and smoking weed and being a Fing idiot. So I go back to the fair, and she’s gone as well as brendan. She left with him.

next day, I call her. She said she got drunk and stayed at his house. I was furious. She told me that she made out with him. I was raged, I blacked out, I threw my phone and I started crying. I was broken down. I called her and she begged for me back, I told her to f off. She said it was okay she was just drunk and it was alright cause we weren’t dating. We weren’t dating for 12 horus and she made out with another guy, and it took me 6 months. So it goes on like this for a couple days. I start to want her back. She comes over and we hangout. Nothing happens. I refused to kiss her but I couldn’t help myself. I told her we couldn’t date cause I couldn’t trust her anymore. So I started talking to her and it was almost like we were dating except not hanging out. I ask her to hangout and she says no she’s not ready… I figure out shes hanging otu with brendan like 3 times a week… she won’t hangout with me but hse will hangout with him.. I was getting really upset. and I started saying things. This is what really got to me, what broke my heart. She goes on liek this till about a week ago. I tell her I want to talk to her when she gets home, knowing she’s with brandon. she didn’t reply. I asked her if she was going home tonight. She said no she was staying at brendans. Alll this time she told me they were just friends… She promised me she wouldn’t kiss him or do anything with him… That night she slept next to him in his bed, spent all night making out with him and god knows what else. I don’t talk to her for 2 days. And she starts dating him. She’s with him everyday, on her myspace it says how he’s so Fing great and he’s the best boyfriend she’s had even though they’ve been dating for so long.

He’s so good because “he’s really cute, he’s really nice, he always takes me to do things and buys me thing, etc” He has a car and I don’t. His parents bought it and pay for his gas and everything. Mine don’t. I can’t get a job, No money no car. So I couldn’t do things with her and take her places.

I’m a wreck. I don’t know what to do. I think about her everyday. I can’t help it. I am still in love with her. I hate her though, after how she ripped me apart like that. Afet she told me she would be iwth me forever if she could and that I was the perfect person. I cried over her. I didn’t even cry when my grandmother who I spent a good part of my life with. This isnt puppy love or anything, This girl was perfect.

I feel ugly, unwanted, unloved. I feel miserable. I’ve been like this for liek 2 weeks. I hate it. IT just gets worse and worse never better. As I’m typing this she’s probably spending the night with him. I have no friends. No money. I’m a wreck I just don’t know what to do about anything. I want to prove myself to the world though, and I’m not as big of a piece of $hit that she told me I was.

I’m sorry if you don’t read this cause it’s so long, Typing it just got it off my chest and just knowing someone could read it helps a bit

Answer #1

Women mate, nothing but trouble. haha, not meaning to make light of your situation or anything…

Well here goes; From what you have said I can see problems from both of you. You shouldnt have pressured her into doing all that stuff, it just seems like you dont really care for her and are only dating her for the benefits, even as that isnt the case thats just how it seems.

She shouldnt have been spending so much of her time with brenden after you expressed how bad it made you feel.

I could go on and on with the things both of you might have done wrong but the point was to show you that there were problems from the both of you.

Sorry how everythings turned out for you. I’ve never been through anything like this myself, but a few years ago when my girlfriend was about your age she did, except she moved and just when she needed her boyfriend at the time the most he cheated on her, she was new to our school and didnt know anyone so she didnt have any friends she could talk to, she fought with her parents and her life sorta got out of control before she did something pretty big and stupid. The point is, from looking back over her mistakes I should be able to help you out a bit.

I think the first thing is to give up smoking weed, 100% no more. I know it might help you ‘escape’ for a little while now when life is at it’s sh*ttest, but trust me this is the worse possible thing for you, thats how people become addicted, I’ve seen what it does to people, its not what you want. Alcohol is another thing you should keep to a minimum, just for special occasions, dont use it to escape either.

Ok, there are a few courses of action you can take;

Moving on from her or Trying to win her back

Which you pick is up to you. If you chose to move on, and that is what I suggest, but thats really up to you. The only thing that is gonna get you through this is time. In the mean time you just have to distract yourself, find something your passionate about and focus on that, drawing, writing, school work, music… what ever gets you through. Become friends with your old mates again, its good having friends you can hang out with and talk to, they will help a lot. Forget about your ex as much as possible, you say you dont have any money? so get a job, you will meet people, possibly another girl, make friends and earn money, definitely a good idea.

She went out with you so you are obviously not ugly, you shouldnt feel that way at all. you need to just make friends and you will feel wanted and cared for again. Try not to think about her, I know thats hard and over time you will think of her less and less. Dont listen to her calling you a piece of sh*t, she is juts hurting and taking it out on you, thats not fair, and untrue.

If you do chose to go back after her, having a job and giving up the weed is still a good idea it shows that your more mature, and have changed and will give the financial benefits you were lacking before.

That should be enough to give you a good start, if you need any help with anything else, or just someone to talk to, dont hesitate to funmail me. Good luck with it all.

Answer #2

I don’t want her back though. But I still love her so much, it’s wierd. She hurt me more than anything else has in the world. I know I was a dick to her I did trieat her bad sometimes, I guess but not all the times. AFter everything she said to me and I believed it all, and I said a lot of things to her and I meant it. And sitll after she did it I mean everything I say. I never bought her stuff or did stuff with her cause that’s not what it was about man. You don’t understand the connection between us. Wherever we were we’d just have the best time ever doing anything. I remember once we were sitting out in 10 degree weather for like 3 hours cuddled up next to each other just talking and comforting each other and it was the best thing ever. I shouldn’t have to pay for a girl and things, I mean I would if I had the money. I want a girl I can love and that will love me. And I’m scared to ever have feelings for another girl again. But in a way I feel like theo nly way to get over her soon is to get another girl, which won’t happen. I was faithful and didn’t talk to any girls for a year and a half and I don’t know any.

Answer #3

get a hobby and join a club and meet other people…life is too short to be in a poor relationship…your a free man…get yourself happy…forget her…or come up with a game plan and do it right this time.YOu call the shots…but be fair and respectfull and deal with what you can get from her

Answer #4

ya of course? jk thats kind of wierd bro..

edit: I’m fau I just posted that under anonymously so it came up as fau.

Answer #5

He’s not weird,he has actual feelings.! look,I could relate to a lot of the things you are saying,just message me and we can talk about this. im sorry for everything your going through.

Answer #6

Wow. Thats deep. Would you be willing to message me? We can talk about it more and in private if you do. Im so sorry to hear about it.

Answer #7

lol funnything is she always said that I didn’t care about her nad never believed me when I told her

Answer #8

wow you sound like I nice guy who actually cares my boyfriend doesnt tlk 2 me and hasnt for 4 months and I’ve cryed myself 2 sleep every night so at least you guys had a good time together. If you really love her tell her how you feel bout her and fight 2 get her back cause you sounded so cute together I wish I had something like that. Well lifes 2 short to loose what you love so get her back. I hope you sort urself out and things go well 4 ya good luck:)

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