I dont really know want to do

before I get in to it I warn it is going to be long

I was dating a girl I really liked we said we loved each other but then she wasnt at school for a week and I couldnt call her because her mom dosnt like me I was worried then one day I was at my locker and I saw her walk by me and all she said was bye and kepted walking with out another word I was going to follow her but her friend walked over to me and said she transfered out I asked did she say to tell me anything she didnt that was two weeks ago I’ve been drinking a lot since then I havent heard a word from her nether has any of her friends all I do now is she is being homeschooled I know I should just move on but I cant I think of her all the time and I cant stop I dont know anymore I’ve stolen a bottle of my dads morphine and took one just to try and stop thinking of her it worked but I hate myself for it before this I had never taking a drink of alchole and know im drunk almost daile I have gone to school drunk and been sent home I need help before this gets worse please