How can he love me when he hurts me so much?

i have been in a relationship for 8 years my boyfriend and i have a 6 months old daughter together, the sad thing is he constantly cheat and disrespects me. on wednesday we broke up he claim that i am always watching him and does not give him any room. however he gives me no reason to trust him because of his infidelity i am hurting so bad i dont think that he will change we have too much irreconcilable differences what hurts the most is that i feel that he treat the other women better than how he treat me. he claim to love me but i don’t see how u love someone and hurt them so bad. honestly i love him so much thats why i give him so many chances i am taking the breakup very hard especially with the baby involved. i am just going to avoid him for a while i don’t know what to do i am hurt.

Answer #1

Awww Im sooo sorry. Listen up, some men have a streak in them that is hard to change. It could be about something that happen in childhood and they seem to punish the ones they love the most. I do beleive he does love you…but how he treats you is bad and very unfair to you. I f you both love each other very much and want to keep things together for yourselves not just your baby…then I suggest you seek a professional for his problem is running deep and you are not the person to help him heal from it 100%. He needs/ you both need a trained professional so talk to him and see if he is open to this. If so than contact your church or a good friend for a recomendation. The money and time will pay off and is your only real chance to nip this problem.

I wish you the very best!

Answer #2

If your partner has cheated on you repeatedly and now swears he will stop, what are the chances that this is true? You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Isn’t there a point at which you say, “I deserve better. My children deserve better. He may not have any boundaries, but I do. And my boundaries say, ‘You either treat me with integrity, dignity and respect or you don’t treat me at all’?” Stand up for yourself and for your children. You’ve given your power away and you’ve got to get it back.

Stop beating yourself up about this. You have got to know that this has nothing to do with you. You are not the one who made the decision to break your commitment to your partner and cheat. You have nothing to do with your partner making the immature, inappropriate, self-destructive choice to turn away from you to someone else.

Forgiveness is a choice. It doesn’t mean what your partner did is OK. How much you trust your partner is in part about what your partner does, and in part a function of whether you have confidence to handle it if he/she disappoints you. If you find out that he strays again, can you handle that?

When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequences. If you continue to throw this in your partner’s face, you will eventually run him off. Ask yourself if this is going to be a life sentence for your partner. Can you heal from this and forgive? If not, don’t continue to live in anger and/or be with someone who causes you pain.

Answer #3

Been there done that. Respect for self is top priority. You deserve better. You dont need him to be with you- he just needs to be a parent for your child.

    Never underestimate self. What it took to get him, will land someone better, but be very picky. show him that you are moving on with your life. Let him cheat in his own place with whoever he wants. As long as he doesnt put your life in danger, a man will be a man...etc.

Most men these days are okay with a woman with a child. But make sure whoever you end up with respects that you are a mother first & make sure hes not a pedifile.

Answer #4

Its hard for guys to change habbits if its something they constantly do. Think of your daughter.. as much as you would want to stay together for her sake- What is going to make you the better mother? If your constantly worrying about him and not taking care of yourself- you may not be the best mother you can be. Give your daughter your best- even if it means saying goodbye to your boyfriend who is constantly hurting you.

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