How do you choose your mom from the father of your kids

You are in a poor situation, and your Mother has learned to control you by ostracizing the guy. If you were much younger I would give different advice, but you are fully an adult at the age of 30. Basically, I agree with informer, but not in quite so harsh a manner.

Regarding your man … Is he good to you? Does he help support you and your child? Does he do everything that a husband should do? Is your Mother’s bad treatment of your man ONLY because he is a foreigner? If the answers are all yes then I think that it is time to sit down with your Mother and tell her that this man is part of your life now, and part of your children’s lives, and it is time that your Mother MUST let go of her habit of treating your man so badly, or she will lose her daughter (that is you) and her grandchildren. For the sake of your children, your life, and your relationship with this guy, the two of you are going to get married. If your Mother cannot deal with it, do not let it destroy your partnership with this man. Your Mother spent her life raising you to be a good person and a loving wife and mother. She did her job well. Now she must allow you to fulfill that role for which she raised you. It is a good thing that you love and respect your Mother, but she must love and respect you and your choices. Sadly, some parents are so racist that they cannot see how wrong that is. Sometimes the child must leave the parent completely and totally. This may - sadly - be the case here. I do hope that your Mother can at least treat your man nicely. She may never like him, but at least she should be civil to him, because he is YOUR love, YOUR husband, and the father of her GRANDCHILDREN.

Good Luck!!