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How do I keep this deep secret without it ruining me?

Ok so before I asked a question about how I should confront my mom about cheating on my dad. I decided I wanted to know and I asked her. What she said made no sense and she wants me to keep it a secret from my other sibs and my dad. I didn’t openly agree yet, but I feel bad because my dad pays all the ill and works his butt off everyday and he told me he sometimes feels unapreciated. What do I do?

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Answer #1

You absolutely need to tell a trusted family member (an aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc). Your father needs to know what is going on, and your mother needs to face reality. It is unhealthy and could cause dangerous problems down the line to keep this a secret. If your mother no longer wants to be in a mutual relationship with your father she needs to do the adult, responsible thing, and file for divorce.

Answer #2

Nothing you do about it, will do anyone any good. Talk to your mom, be even mad if you want. But tell her that she could take the load of your chest if she would make the secret untrue. If she isn’t ready to do that then you must take into consideration that there might me some aspect of their marriage you aren’t aware of, so don’t be the executioner, the only thing you should do is speed up the process (talking to your mum). Whatever the outcome (affair end or the divorce), never be mad at either one of your parents and remember they both love you and your siblings.

Answer #3

Your mother told you something in confidence, and although it was something that is a serious issue, you owe it to your mother to keep her trust.

This is something that your mother and father should be dealing with alone and the children should not be involved, but since you know this secret now, perhaps you should sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel about things and ask her what she is planning on doing to make it right.

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