How can I tell me friend she needs to loose weight?

Ok I’m really worried about my fried she is 5’4 maybe 5’3 and weighs around 220 pounds I believe. I’m really worried about her because I’m scared she’s going to keep getting bigger. She wears an xxxL in shirts and a size 22 I’m pants. I know she knows she’s big but she doesn’t care enough to loos weight. She wouldn’t care if I told her she was overweight because her mom always calls her fat and so do a lot of other people. She has no Frieda really besides me and I think it has to do with he weight and attitude. I’m just really worried about her because she only 13 and I wanna help her but Im not sure how I can):

Answer #1

You think she doesnt know she has a problem? Like seriously? She has a mirror. And lots of cruel people surrounding her. She’s not stupid. She knows she has a problem. And odds are, she probably has an eating disorder. She’s not overeating because she doesnt care that she’s fat. She’s eating to cope with her family and whatever else she’s dealing with. So, you telling her that she needs to lose weight, is not helpful. She knows. It’s like telling someone to quit smoking. Yes, really, they know. They know it’s harmful, they know its dangerous, but it’s not that simple. Or they’d have done it already. It’s not about will power, its not about having a better attitude.

The issue is not the weight. And apparently no else seems to be getting this. If you start on it, like her mother has started, she’s simply going to shut down on you too. You really want to help her? Work with getting her self esteem up. By getting her to accept herself. No matter what she looks like. It might be helpful if you can do that first. And try to stop viewing her as everyone else does. You say you’re her only friend, and yet for some reason you think that telling her she’s fat wouldnt bother her? Uhm ok… Just because she doesnt start crying in front of you, doesnt mean she doesnt go home and binge in order to deal with that pain. Which just leads to more weight gain. So, how about you not tell her to lose weight, because that would probably make things worse. Ask her to get involved in something with you, without making weight loss the issue. Try to be sensitive here. She’s probably not going to be up to swimming in front of a bunch of people, or running around… Walking or something simple is probably a good place to start.

Answer #2

Are you sure you are the person to tell her? if you are really serious about it then do it with her. By that I mean say hey im going for a run wanna come with? Or a walk or some sort o exercise. You dont wanna sound mean when you really just want to help.

Answer #3

The only thing I think you can really do is be there for her. stay her friend and back her up because from the sounds of things, nobody wants to be her friend. Maybe when you guys are older you could suggest a gastric tummy tie thing or something but at the moment she is too young for that and it costs quite a bit.

If she doesnt really care about loosing weight, then the only thing you can do is be her friend.

Answer #4

Listen Ty I sai she knows she has a problem and her mom and her never got along. My friend has serious problems getting slog with other people. She derespects her mother all the time and curses a her but she still has no right to call her hurtful words, but my friend doesn’t care what anyone has to say. She has no type of eating disorder and if anyone calls her fat it’s not going to lead to one. I was never planning on saying to her hey your fat I just want her to take her weight more seriously. Some of you seem like it’s not a problem that she weighs 220 at the age of 13 commmon. I agree with the answers that told me to try to help her without her knowing so Ty fr the people who actually answered my question[:

Answer #5

‘She has no type of eating disorder’

binge eating disorder is an eating disorder. For a 13 year old to hit that weight, she probably does binge. Odds are she ALREADY has an eating disorder. And you’re going to do whatever you’re going to do. That’s up to you. You’ve already decided you know what is best for her. So good luck with that.

Answer #6

I was never going to Call her fat I don’t know why all of you are thinking that. Some of you are telling my to keep my mouth shut . I know she’s not comfortable with her size because she won’t even shop for clotheS with me and she told me that’s the reason. O never call her fat and j defend her web other people do. I want we to loose weight because beig overweight takes off years of your life. It just seems to some of you that this isn’t a problem.

Answer #7

its great that your trying to be a good friend, but think about it: if her own mom is calling her fat and she’s still not motivated to lose weight, you telling her she needs to probably wont make any difference. like I said, she’s going to have to do if for herself when she’s ready, which could be tomorrow or in 20 years. if you really want to do something, do it without her knowing. start saying you want to eat healthy and ask her if she wants to do it so you can support each other and that it will make you more motivated. ask her if she wants to go on runs with you because youre dying to get in shape but dont want to run all alone. maybe she’ll come around after realizing how good it feels when you start to become healthier. (:

Answer #8

well, it sounds like theres nothing you can do. if she wants to lose weight, she’s going to have to want to do it and it’ll be on her own time. she may be comfortable in her size, so it’s not your place to tell her that there is something wrong with the size she is. if she fine with it, you should be too. plus, if you tell her she needs to lose weight, she could resort to having an eating disorder to lose the weight quickly and easily, which is not good. so I would do this: don’t say anything to her. if she starts to tell you she wants to loose weight, help her by telling her ways she can do it, good food options, or by offering to work out with her. otherwise, keep your mouth shut because it really isnt your place.

Answer #9

She knows she’s fat her own mother calls he a fat b* I know it’s messed up they fight a lot so I doubt telling her would resort to an earing disorder. She’s 13 and weighs 220 pounds that seems like a problem. I don’t want her to keep gaining weigt and end of like those people with skin flabs on their legs. I also want her to stick around for a while. So ignoring this and being ok doesn’t seem optional. Being a good friend would not be ignoring the situation.

Answer #10

Help her without her knowing it. What I mean is, you could go do something active together. Something that’s fun. :] good luck

Answer #11

if you plan in telling her just be careful with your word. Try not to hurt her and really show her you do care and your not jjust mocking her or putting her down. If you dont want to tell her try taking her out and doing fun activities.

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