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So I'm 15. My life hasn't been the best. Parents fighting, cops coming to my house a lot, moving at least 20 times between 2 house, etc. Well I always find myself thinking about my childhood, and I get sad about it. I remember all the fights my parents have ever had. I can't remember any of the happy stuff in my life, at all. None of the vacations I've been on, nothing. I can't remember anything anymore. I know that the past is that past, and I can't change it. But I can't stop. The moving thing, my mom loves a man, but whenever we're there it never works out. They end up arguing and we leave, back to my "dad's" house (my real dad died when I was 2). My mom doesn't even love my "dad" (who was also an alcoholic), and she's unhappy. I tell her that I want her to be happy, and not worry about my happiness, because I don't even care anymore. I think about cutting myself a lot. I feel like I don't even have feelings anymore either, like I love people and stuff, but I don't feel it. And my friends have told me that I'm always negative about everything and stuff like that. I talk to my friends about it, but I feel like they don't care and I'm just being annoying. The worst part of it is that my mom doesn't even think she has done anything to make my life bad. It's just hard to not think about it. And I wish that I could stop. :( So if you have any advice, or just want to listen, comment or funmail me.
Well, I know someone who can relate to your life, and he's living with his grandmother at the moment, and even now it's not too grand. Look, it may be hard to do this, but try thinking of everything positively BECAUSE of what you've been through. Negativity just causes more negativity, you should know that by now. As for your mom, I can see where she's coming from. You have a roof over your head, right? Clothes? Food? You should be thankful that she even WANTS to take care of you. Technically, she is not obligated by law to watch over you, even through she is your mother. Until you are 18 she can stick you with a relative or even in an orphanage. I've learned this the hard way as well, but it works. Be thankful for every little thing that you get from your mom, even if it is just food. If she can't afford it don't buy it, and wait for changes in your life to come to you, rather than trying to change them yourself. Maybe you can advert your emotions to something else that you enjoy, maybe writing? Drawing? Singing? Dancing? Try something stimulating to your body, like working out. It leaves you so exausted that you don't even feel like thinking badly anymore. Lol. So, I really hope you can learn to think this way, because I don't like it when other human beings are going through such trauma in their lives.
Your story made me feel for you really badly btw, look at it in a good way, new year is coming up, and you should make this a fresh year for yourself:)You should never look back unless your willing to go back, the past doesnt matter anymore, its the future that does, and right now you arent gonna have a good future if you keep thinking back. DONT cut yourself or anything, it wont help anybody. Tell your mum how you feel about it, and tell your friends this isnt some kinda joke, its serious Hope I helped:/ LAter x
LOL WAIT. I JUST REREAD YOUR ADVICE djwhitebooty AND YOU SO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE THING ABOUT MY MOM. She loooves me, and I love her. she loves taking care of my brother and I...She just can't make up her mind about guys and always moves us... and there's no money issues. lmao. and I don't try to change it myself, because there's not a single thing I can change about the way she feels about people. ahaha wowww.
Thank you guys. And I do love my mom. This year I'm not gonna think about the past. I'm gonna look forward to the future :)
Good:)Glad it worked out for ya:)
