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Help with my Poem/Sonnet
Can anyone please read and provide me with any feedback/corrections on my first-attempt at a Poem/Sonnet. It is for my upcoming wedding in 3 days.
We tried to meet while playing cards at sea You spoke to me but then I shied away You made a friend who you had thought was me Then finally we had the last few days
The weekend trip across the water blue A chance for each to know the other more Come Monday morn it was by then we knew We held the keys to both our hearts locked door.
Now you have moved your life to be with mine A leap of faith so wonderful to take For fate kept telling us and giving the sign A great and splendid couple we would make.
Cause who you are I thank the gods above Because you have restored my faith in love.
I stand before just you and friends of ours
Offering you my deep and truest vow.
No matter what within our lives occurs
To always keep this oath I utter now.
Although our bond is but shortly known, Our souls both knew a close connection past. And since, agree this love has more than grown Into something which will forever last.
This lasting feeling brought us both to here. Where I stand proud before you readily Through times of good or bad, through gloom or cheer, To join my life with yours as family.
So I hereby now pledge and take my cue To live by words I promise you are true.
To be so true to you and e’er respect
To open wide my eyes, my mind and heart.
Your body and needs always to protect
Through life’s long path your side I’ll never part.
Be always honest and ever forthright
Through years to come and share my inner soul.
Although it may at times fill me with fright,
I here now freely give my body whole
I’ll be your friend and be your lover still As time may pass and fortune may not smile Through trials and tragedy to you I will Be side by side as walking down the aisle.
Fore’r in hearts, in souls, in minds conjoin’d
Till to the grave our souls depart entwined.
first of all, that’s not a sonnet. A sonnet is a formal written poem that contains exactly 14 lines. but I like it! have a nice wedding
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