Gaining back trust and showing that I love my mom.

Sorry its long, please read all of it:

My mom and I had always had a really close realtionship. I love her with everything I ahve, and my life circles around her, Although I dont think that she realizes. There was a time in my life where I felt like I took care of my family, they needed me too. My momma was either sick or consumed in her job, which unfortunatly she quit. I’m the youngest and the only girl. I felt like I had to support everyone else even though they beat down at me all the time. I used to be really fragile but now I’m different. I’m stronger, Just like my mom. She’s a pistol. Its bad because now I know how to engage in “arguments” if thats even what they can be called, because they mostly consist of me being yalled at and asked questions and me answering the questions to the best of my abilitly, Which I shouldnt do because I find trying to make it an equal conversation makes the situation worse. My mom believes that I think shes a terrible mother, I think shes done amazing with the things she has been given, And she has been so kind to all of her children. I think she’s a great mother, I just think we have some problems but we can never work them out because I feel like I cant tell her anything any more because she will just turn around and use what I’ve told her against me the next time she gets mad with me.

The situation: My boyfriend has came over, and we went into my room to watch a movie, and we werent doing so well and we kinda got into a fight and then we made up after both of us began to cry, well I was wrong, And I playfully layed on him and gave him a kiss and my mom walked by and though we were trying to have sex, in her “own house” :( Which was an awful accusation, and I knew I couldnt tell her other wise because she would think I was lying. I had told her that I had sex with my boyfriend. I told her. She didnt find out I just wanted her to know the truth. And she yelled and yelled and I felt terrible because we didnt really do anything wrong. I promised that I wouldnt have unprotected sex again since that happening and I havent, Although I could have many times, but its almost like it doesnt even matter anymore. She threated to tell my father that I had sex last night, and I told her that I had already told him, thinking that it was a good thing that I was honnest, When in reality, she thought that I told him ti ruin there relationship and to try to make her look bad and back stab her. she talks about the “manipulative game” that I am playing, Im really not “playing” any “game”. I tell my dad things because hes my dad and im trying to be more honnest, And I get up in there bussiness because I still feel like I have to take care of everything. Well The material items are take away, which I really don’t care. I’m sad that I can no longer talk to my boy friend, Whom I love. I know, I know. Im only 16 I dont know what true love is, But I got lucky. My mom wants me to move out to live with my dad and im not sure if I want to go. I dont want to leave her But I hurt her so badly.

I want her to know that I didn’t try to betray her. My whole life she’s been telling me that sex is not a bad thing. And she asked me to wait until I was on birth control, But I though it would be okay as long as I told her. Now I feel she doesnt trust me, nor does dhe trust my boyfriend.

What do I do to let her know I love her? What should I do about my situation?

And p.s. Im paranoid that you’re going to find this momma, If you read this please dont be mad, Im just in a world of worry for you.