How can I fix my life when I have messed it up so solidly?

I know I want to go to school for and I have planned out a way to finish school in 2.5-3 years and I know what career I can follow afterwards which all together and even seperately is more then I had before. But I don’t know how I can come back from this past year:

So I went to University last year and in that year everything went down hill. First off I joined a club and found something I loved doing that makes me happy where I met my friends now who are the best I’ve ever had. I also met a guy lets call him Marv me and Marv became fast friends and I found I liked him in October: Problem 1. You see I had a boyfriend back home that I dated for two years but our relationship was severly flawed and I found I was unhappy in it: Problem 2. November came around and Marv has shown interest for awhile, he kisses me then does again and I kiss back we have sex, we start acting like boyfriend and girlfriend when together I was going to break up with my boyfriend when I went home for christmas. By Christmas I think I am in love with marv.: Problem 3. My Grandma went to hospital In December for a stroke which it wasn’t she has Brain, liver, and lung cancer: Problem 4. I break up with my boyfriend and before I went back to school he has a complete and utter pjychological break down due to stress he recovers. February came round and Marv has changed his mind about dating but says things won’t cahnge they did: Problem 5. April things with Marv end other then friendship: At this point this wasn’t a problem. April durring exams My other grandma actually has a stroke and dies in the hospital, my grandma with cancer dies the next day:Issue 1. I attended my grandmother’s funeral who died of a stroke but due to the fact I had to move from rez into a house and write my other two exams and finances I couldn’t go to the other one: issue 2. I wasn’t ready to take my exams apparently because I wrote 4 exams and failed two and failed two classes as well as failed a class the semester before no one told me I was on academic probabtion after the first semester I have a required withdrawl that I could appeal to but didn’t bother because It is now mid June and I still don’t have a job and can’t afford school: Issue 3 and Problem 6. June my current boyfriend also started to show interest and asked me out<3 I get a job at the end of the month. I get a better student job at teh end of July but couldn’t continue the job past August because I wasn’t a full time student in September. I go home in August to see my mom and one of my brothers whom I haven’t seen since my grandmother’s funeral then before that I saw my brother at christmas and both before I left to come to school in the first place. September comes and I go full time at my previous part time job and decide I am going to take a class as an undeclared; no one knows I was required to leave the university. I haven’t had the courage to call my other side of the family because I don’t know what to say to them about not being able to go to my grandmotehrs funeral and the guilt is eating at me not a day goes by that I don’t think about them: issue 4. The thought of me fucking up my life so bad and everything that has happened on top of guilt is causing me to slip into depression I just want to sleep and when I’m not sleeping I want to stay active with the only things that make me happy: my hoop hobby, my boyfriend, and friends that I’ve started to mess up at school again and the worst part is I know I understand this stuff and it is simple I just can’t focous on it because every time I do then I remember how proud my grandmothers were of me going to school and how much I’ve failed them

Answer #1

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a horrible past year or two. It sucks and its unfair. Life can be really hard at times.

I think you need to stop for a moment, take a deep breath and try again. Its not your fault that everything went spiralling out of control. It happens to everyone one time or another. You need to sit down and work out a solid battle plan on what you want in life and what is the best way to get it. I think you also have to stop being so hard on yourself and blaming yourself for stuff that was out of your control.

Put it all behind you and move on. Give yourself a fresh start with a solid plan. I hope everything works out.

Answer #2

Life can be really hard.I honestly don’t know what to tell you.Just start looking for somebody that loves you.Just start maybe with your old boyfriend.But if your not ready for that then maybe another time.No matter how hard life gets you have to keep on going.I used to think and sometimes still do think god is aganist me and i get so frusturated.but i think well things happen for reasons and i try to understand that everyday.Keep lots of love and not hate on your side.Family and Friends.I hope things get better.

Answer #3

Things haven’t gone smoothly. But, you haven’t killed anyone and you’re not in ja.il, it could be worse. You haven’t messed up your entire life. First of, ok so you didnt attend your grandmother’s funeral. Go deal with your family. They will get over it. If they dont, screw them. You dont attend a funeral to make people happy. You loved your grandmother. Is this what she would want, you to feel guilty about not going to her funeral? Time to get over it. Not attending a funeral means nothing about how much you care about someone. If people dont get that, then you dont need them in your life. Odds are, if they’re the type of people worth caring about, they will understand. My guess is that you’re feeling so guilty you think that they will treat you badly. As for messing things up. I know this. The people who love me have watched me screw up in every way possible. They stuck by me, and waited till I got better. If your grandmothers really loved you, they wouldnt want you wallowing in how you may have disappointed them. They’d want you to say, yes I made mistakes, and now I’m going to fix them. What exactly do you get sitting around feeling sorry for yourself? Go do something about it. And consider therapy…

Answer #4

Sorry about your tough year. Like they say … “Life’s a bitch”.

On the bright side …. you have not been permanently damaged or handicapped. You are not pregnant, you’re not a convicted felon, your body isn’t broken. Your heart and soul is damaged, but those can heal.

As Ty said … take a deep breath, pause, and do a life reset.

Reconcile with your grandmother. Go to her grave and have your own little funeral. Apologize to her if you think you need to. Explain how you feel to your family. But don’t feel too guilty … everyone reacts differently to a death. It took me over five years before I could get the courage to visit my grandfather’s grave … and I still broke down when I went.

Take small steps and make changes in your life very slowly. Change (even good change) is very stressful and you have had a very stressful year.

Go get ‘em, tiger.

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