Funadvice Logo
+ List
More Parents & Family Questions

Should I justify how I spend my time to my parents?

Ah, I know everyone is probably sick of questions regarding boyfriends, but I guess I have no one else to talk to. It will probably sound like any old regular question, considering I’m 16 and “spending too much time with him”, but I strongly say that this is no regular relationship. No, I’m not pregnant. No, I don’t do drugs, I don’t party, I don’t “experiment” with him, I don’t cut myself. I’m a 4.0 student, I’m trying my best at life. Many people will say that being in love at 16 is this false idea. I’m sorry I feel this way about myself, but I finally feel completely in love. 2 years of dating may not be enough to validate “love,” but I believe my true feelings are. Talks of the future and a sense of security is enough for me to call this love. I don’t know how to convince you otherwise. Anyway, my problem is this; supposedly, I spend too much time with him. It was never a problem when we were only best friends, but suddenly, it’s become pretty bad. It’s gotten to the point where his mother marks days on the calender to ensure we don’t spend time with each other for more than a week a month. My mother believes he will only mess up and leave me, since my father left her and abused her, as melodramatic as that sounds. I’m not sure what the problem is! If he comes over, I pressure him to do his homework, he gets it done, he’s home by 9 on weekdays. The weekend, we normally go to the movies once, then come back home to eat dinner and play videogames. I would really like to know what you guys think. Should I tell my parents more about how I spend my time? Is this an unhealthy relationship? It’s not like I’m some girl that is obsessed and can only hang out with him and him alone- I have plenty of friends, however I find myself wanting to hang out with him more than others, but this has never been an abnormal situation. I guess I’d just really like to know what you all think. Thanks. :3

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

You can be friends with your ex, you know. As long as you’ve kept your relationship innocent, there is a good chance that you’ll remain best friends forever. Two of my friends are like that. They met in junior high, they dated in high school, they broke up, and after a cooling period, they became each other’s best friend.

Another two of my friends met in junior high, didn’t date until their last year of high school, and are now married. However, this last couple was raised in an entirely different culture. They had different beliefs from the average American, and they were committed to each other since day one. I don’t know about your background, but it’s very likely that college will change whatever relationship you have with your boyfriend. So I’ll say to keep it casual for now, see how it’ll go in college, and whatever will be will be.

Answer #2

The age 16 is the nicest age to be in love. It will never come back again. So you certainly should not miss this nice period of your life. On the other hand, you have to know something: the time you spend together HAS a quality. (e.g. quality of ilfe!) If both of you can build up your healty and successful character and future by the activities during this time (learnig, sporting, visiting museums, walking in the nature, etc) , than that is is very useful if you are together. But it also happens very frequenty when a teenager love distarcts somebody in his/her normal teenager activities/tasks (see above), and has a negative impact on the teenager development. So if you feel that you and yor b/f spend your time beneficially, than you may tell the details of your program to anybody, even proudly.

Answer #3

What do I think? I do know that you and your boyfriend will break up eventually, and it will especially hurt like hell because you’ve spent so much time with him.

Glad to see that you’re being a good influence on your boyfriend, though I do think you should spend more time with your other friends.

Answer #4

TELL your parents, they will respect you for saying “HEY I`m being an ADULT” you are responsible, mature and show respect, tell them you are trying to show respect, but also gain respect. - ask them to listen

Answer #5

Dear helphelp, I think it boils down to this…your parents are seeing the two of you getting closer and the fear is that you will marry young without experiencing other loves. They fear he isn’t the right boy (you see there will never be the right boy) a parents insecurities. They know the statistics…marry young chance of divorce is high. Divorce is high to begin with and this just increases the likelihood. Try reassuring your family that you do not plan on marring anytime soon and he is only a boyfriend and most likely things will change when you are in college and you get older (this is probably the truth) You will meet many males and hopefully date and experience life more before you decide to settle down. Sue…good luck

Answer #6

Thank you very much for the advice, however it feels to me as if you are looking at this on a ‘breaking up no matter what you think’ level. I do spend time with my friends, we do things with my friends since we have the same group of acquaintances, thats what makes it so difficult. It’s not a random boy I met in high school, I’ve known him since elementary, and we’ve been best friends for forever, so it’s not like every time we hang out it’s only for the sake of being boyfriend and girlfriend. @__@ slams head on desk Has this ever happened to anyone else? How did it end up? O_o

More Like This
Advisor

Parents & Family

Parenting, Marriage, Childcare

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Answers for Parents

Parenting, Family, Education

Advisor

Mummy Matters: Parenting and ...

Parenting, Lifestyle

Advisor

Parentinglogy

Parenting, Child Development, Family Health

Advisor

Make My Kid Star

Parenting, Family, Kids