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How can I treat my mother better?

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I live in a great neighborhood with a family anyone would want to have. The only problem is me. I always screw things up by making my mom cry or just being a complete idiot. She's a single parent so she works all day and is really stressed out. When she comes home from work she goes straight to her room and just comes out to eat dinner with us. Then, when she tries to have family activities and have us all bond together I don't want to. I mean, how dare she go from completely ignoring us to trying to be our friend? I don't know what to do. I know I should apologize but I just can't. There's something inside of me that says not to. I can't wait to go to college so I can move out and never look back. I'm ungrateful and selfish but right now, I can't help that. I just don't have the strength. If my mom died or something I would probably kill myself because I've treated her so horribly. I just don't know what to do. Can somebody give me advice?