Down the Drain

Manuel and I were the best of friends since January ‘09, but have known each other since ‘06. He was absolutely the best best friend that I’ve ever had. I could trust him with literally everything, and he was the ONLY person that I could trust like that. We both liked each other a lot, and after a while, we started going out. He broke up with me not long after because “we were too good of friends and he didn’t want to risk it.” I knew he broke up with me because he still had feelings for his last girlfriend, and I told him while we were going out that if he wanted her back again (same thing happened a month prior), then I wouldn’t be able to hang out again, and it happened again.. I stopped hanging out with him and talking to him, and he didn’t do anything to try and apologize. He didn’t try to call, message, or text me. It seemed to me like he didn’t care at all. So, one night I texted him and confronted him. He said that he didn’t know what he would’ve said. Then, he apologized, and we were friends for about a week, then he started being a real jerk.

Point to this is: I haven’t been his friend in a month, and I really miss having a best friend that I can talk to and actually connect to. Sometimes, I find myself thinking about all the good times that we’ve had together, and then I think about how much of a jerk he is and how he shows me how he doesn’t care. I still have a LOT of feelings for him, and I don’t know what to do at all… He’s already had two chances, and screwed them both up. I’m not sure if three chances is too much.