Why doesn't my boyfriend want to think about the future anymore?

I have. He said he just doesn’t like it and ended the conversation.

Give him time and some space to think about things then. All we can do is guess, but he needs to tell you whats up. Maybe talk to some of his friends and ask them if hes been acting strange lately. Just leave it for now, and in a week or so when he seems less tense about it bring it up again. If the same thing happens, be patient and wait for him to tell you when hes ready.

Unfortunately, something like this all anyone on the outside can do is guess. However, I do have one question, has anything significant happened recently? In his life or yours? Either way, you will need to have a talk with him. Discuss everything you wrote here, ask him where he sees this relationship going, ask him about commitment, engagement and also the promise ring. Quite honestly, anything is possible, but I wonder, is he perhaps afraid of the commitment he is committing to once he gives you that promise ring or the engagement ring? You did mention he was scared he would screw up, so maybe he is scared of the commitment he will be making. Either way these are just guesses, only he knows what he truly wants and feels. This is definitely one of those things that couples need to talk about in a serious relationship.

Thats what I was thinking.

I think Janice is right. For any guy, commitment is a really scary thing, no matter how much they love their girl.

Yea, and it’s easy enough to say you want the commitment, but to actually act upon it, like getting a ring, that step is a whole lot more real and scary.

but will he do that forever?

See that’s the thing, no one here can tell you that, only he will know, and if that is actually the reason why. But IF that is the reason why, I honestly, I feel that if he’s the one for you he will grow out of it and eventually that commitment won’t be so scary anymore. IF that is the reason give it time, you’ve only been going out 11 months, that’s not long at all. But really, you ought to talk to him through this, that way both of you know the reason for this, and both of you know what you both want out of this reason. That way no one will feel cheated one day.

From what you’ve said, it seems that he hasn’t given you a promise or engagement ring yet because he’s not ready to. Since you guys have only been dating for 11 months now, it’s completely understandable that he’s wanting to wait a little. I can understand that you did have terms for moving in with him, but the decision to get married isn’t something that should be rushed really. It is, after all, a very big decision that will change both of your lives.

That being said, I think it’s important to give him some time with the issue and try not to press it too much right now. Just try to enjoy each others company, and keep growing as a couple. As you grow together, the decision on marriage will become more clear to both of you. If and when the time is right, he’ll come to you. Just be patient.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and we don’t talk about getting married/children/etc. I think that couples should just take it day by day. Ya know, 11 months isn’t really that long… You both are so young, just have fun and think about today, not several years down the line. If you start trying to set up a big future, you might end up disappointed.

If you guys have such a tight relationship, then talking this out should not be a problem. Bring it up with him, ask him what’s going on because none of us can tell you that but him.

Maybe it scares him?

maybe he fells about ring like i do which is why waste money on an item tht does nothing. why spend 400 or more on an item that just sits there. my wife literally got a gum ball ring from me. then i spent real money on you know stuff we needed. jewelery is such a waste.

i’ve been with my GF for 3 year’s now, i used to be that way, i loved being cuddley and romantic and talking about the future but now i find it unsettling. the reason for this is because i feel tied down too soon in my life, and as much as i want to feel the same as i used to, you have to remember that things dont always happen the way you planned them too, and if you focus too much on your futures together, when one thing doesnt go as according to planned it seems to be going down hill, just dim it down a little bit, and talk about it when he’s ready.

maybe its because he doesnt think you want to have a future with him.

Get the most out of each day and the future will take care of itself.

he stupid or something if he down for you he think about the future always to make sure you good an takeing care of