How do I stop cutting without having to go to counseling?

So I cut myself and I’ve tried to stop but I cant seem to. My boyfriend even said that if he saw me with cuts on my wrists again he would hurt himself and that would hopefully make me stop. he doesn’t like to see me do that to myself. and I want to stop but I don’t want to have to go to counseling or anything but my parents don’t know and I have been doing this for a while now. I don’t want then to find out because they will send me to counseling and I don’t want that. but for some reason I cant stop and it doesn’t matter to me that people see just as long as my family doesn’t but I really need help. I’ve tried things but nothing helps. so please HELP

Answer #1

I never went to counseling.I found someone I could talk to about everything. and she was a teacher she helpped me a lot.. and she is about the only reason I stopped cutting. I wish I would have nebver started but thats how I stopped she helped me..

Answer #2

Well, first of all think to yourself, what is cutting going to do for you in the long run other then give you scars? When you grow up and get married to the love of your life, how would it feel letting that person see your scars as you made love and such? Because honestly there is nothing to ever gain from it. Except for:

Loss of blood. Scars. Future Humiliation. The shallowness of people that see them. Rumors. Loss of friends. Pain. Chance of cutting wrong areas. Suicide thoughts.

And so many more…

Answer #3

I know wt your going thru. Im13 and I cut myself and its really really really hard to stop. I told my friends and family that I would stop and I stopped for a while. But once they believed me I just kept cutting myself. I personally think the rubber band around your wrist can help. It hurts as if your cutting but it doesnt leave a scar. Im wearing one right now. And I do go to counseling but it isnt helping. just talk to someone you can trust please. I know you hear it a lot and I hear it a lot 2, but talk before it gets out of hand.

Answer #4

YOU HAVE RECEIVED SOME GOOD SUGGESTIONS, i WORK IN A FACILITY THAT PEOPLE GO TO WHEN THEY HURT THEMSELVES. AND HONESTLT I USED TO CUT TOO. FIRST OF ALL, TO YOUR BOYFRIEND(WHO IS ONLY DOING WHAT HE CAN TO HELP) 2 PEOPLE HURTING THEMSELVES IS ONLY TWICE AS BAD. ALL THAT MEANS IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS HARMFUL TO BOTH OF YOU. SO, THAT IS NOT THE WAY TO GO. I USED TO CUT MYSELF WHEN I WAS VERY UPSET. THAT WAS THE ONLY WAS I FELT I COULD EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. i STARTED WRITING A PERSONAL JOURNAL, AND STARTED TALKING. NOT TO A PROFESSIONAL, JUST TALKING THROUGH MY PROBLEMS, TO A FRIEND OR IF IT WAS TOO PERSONAL, TO MYSELF(SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT!!) BUT IT HELPED A LOT. AND REMEMBER IF YOU CHOOSE TO WRITE AND YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE TO SEE IT-EVER, YOU CAN ALWAYS TEAR IT UP WHEN YOU ARE DONE. ALSO I GOT SAVED. IT MAY SOUND LIKE SOMETHING AN OLD PERSON WOULD SAY, I AM 29 I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CALL THAT OLD BUT WHEN I GOT SAVED IT HELPED ME A LOT. YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER ONE THING ABOUT CUTTING, THE ONLY REASON YOU FEEL THAT WAY IS BECAUSE OF A WORSE PROBLEM. HAVE SOME CONFIDIENCE IN YOURSELF, ONLY BE AROUND PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. DON’T LET NEGATIVE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.

I WISH YOU LUCK

Answer #5

well, I cut and on a regular basis, now many people think that us ‘self-harming emo’s’ just do it for the attention but they are wrong. people say we a psyco and needd help but anyone who thinks that needs help them selves. I have tried to commit suicide many times but people just get in the way. I have been cutting for 7 years now and know it is really damaging me. I know I shud stop but it is an on-going chain. I do it 2 punish mi self for sumthin (priverate reasong but also due 2 early year traumatic expierences) and then feel guilty bout doing it and do it again.

I suggest you just do what you think is write. either talk 2 a councelor, or someone yu trust, maybe a friend, family.

or instead of cuting, yu could write yur feelings down or talk about them to your self or a photo of someone.

hope this helps

good luck

Jadie x

Answer #6

what you have to do i think is find out why your punishing yourself and fix it as best you can ask forgiveness forgive things like that. cutting is usually because you think something is you r fault and your punnishing yourself so just try to fix that problem. =)

Answer #7

A lot of cutters have found this article helpful: http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/resisting_cutting.html

If you’ve been cutting and you want to stop, here are some approaches that might help you.

For people who cut, doing something different may be a big change. Making this change can take time because you are learning new ways of dealing with the things that led you to cut. The tips you’ll see below can get you started. But a therapist or counselor can do more to help you heal old hurt and use your strengths to cope with life’s struggles.

Start by being aware of which situations are likely to trigger your urge to cut. Make a commitment that this time you will not follow the urge, but will do something else instead.

Then make a plan for what you will do instead of cutting when you feel this urge.

Below are some tips you can try when you feel the urge to cut. We’ve put them into several categories because different people cut for different reasons. So certain techniques will work better for some people than others.

Look through all the tips and try the ones that you think might work for you. You may need to experiment because not all of these ideas will work for everyone. For example, some readers have told us that snapping a rubber band works for them as a substitute for cutting but others say that the rubber band triggers an urge to snap it too hard and they end up hurting themselves.

If one tip isn’t right for you, that’s OK. Use your creativity to find a better idea. Or talk with your therapist to get other ideas on what could work for you. The idea is to find a substitute for cutting — something that satisfies a need you might feel without being as harmful as cutting.

You may also find that one of these ideas works for you sometimes but not always. That’s OK too. What a person needs can vary from time to time and from situation to situation.

Following the techniques listed below will help you think about why you might cut. The more you learn about what’s underneath your cutting behavior, the better you will be able to understand and develop healthy ways to heal that pain.

Things That Might Distract You

Like all urges, the urge to cut will pass if you wait it out. Distracting yourself with something else helps time go by and gets your mind off the urge to cut. The more you wait out the urge without giving in, the more your urges will decrease over time.

Here are some things you can try while waiting for a cutting urge to pass:

* call a friend and talk about something completely different
* take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower)
* go for a walk or run, take a bike ride, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
* play with a pet
* watch TV (change the channel if the show gets upsetting or features cutting)
* drink a glass of water

Things That Might Soothe and Calm You

Sometimes people cut because they’re agitated or angry — even though they may not recognize that feeling. If that’s true for you, it can help to do something calming when you feel the need to cut.

Even if you’re not sure why you’re cutting, it’s worth giving these ideas a try:

* play with a pet
* take a shower (make sure you don't have razors in the shower)
* take a bath (make sure you don't have razors near the tub)
* listen to soothing music that will shift your mood
* try a breathing exercise
* try some relaxing yoga exercises

Things That Might Help You Express the Pain and Deep Emotion

Some people cut because the emotions that they feel seem way too powerful and painful to handle. Often, it may be hard for them to recognize these emotions for what they are — like anger, sadness, or other feelings. Here are some alternatives to cutting that you can try:

* draw or scribble designs on paper using a red pen or paint on white paper — if it helps, make the paint drip
* write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper
* draw the pain
* compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling
* listen to music that talks about how you feel

Things That Might Help Release Physical Tension and Distress

Sometimes, doing things that express anger or release tension can help a person gradually move away from cutting. Try these ideas:

* go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise
* rip up some paper
* write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper
* scribble on paper using a red pen
* squeeze, knead, or smoosh a stress ball, handful of clay, or Play-Doh

Things That Might Help You Feel Supported and Connected

If you cut because you feel alone, misunderstood, unloved, or disconnected, these ideas may help:

* call a friend
* play with a pet
* make a cup of tea, some warm milk, or cocoa
* try some yoga exercises that help you feel grounded, such as triangle pose
* try a breathing exercise like the one in the button above
* curl up on your bed in a soft, cozy blanket

Things That Are Substitutes for the Cutting Sensation

You’ll notice that all the tips in the lists above have nothing to do with the cutting sensation. When you have the idea to self-injure, start by trying the ideas on those lists — such as making art, walking your dog, or going for run.

If they don’t help, move on to the substitute behaviors shown below.

These substitute behaviors won’t work for everyone. They also don’t help people get in touch with why they are cutting. What they do is provide immediate relief in a way that doesn’t involve cutting, and therefore holds less risk of harm.

* rub an ice cube on your skin instead of cutting it
* wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it gently against your skin
* draw on the skin with a soft-tipped red pen in the place you might usually cut

Cutting can be a difficult pattern to break. But it is possible. If you want help overcoming a self-injury habit and you’re having trouble finding anything that works for you, talk with a therapist. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn’t mean that someone is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life’s problems in a healthy way.

Reviewed by: D’Arcy Lyness, PhD Date reviewed: February 2006

Answer #8

hay I need to stop cutting I cut ccause it helps relive pain but think all the blood you lose and stuff that help me a little

Answer #9

So im 12, and I am a cutter too. I know its hard, but you have to keep away from objects useed for cutting. Im not going to tell you that you need help or anything like that, because the people that say that, dont understand how hurt you are inside. My advice to you would be to find someone you can trust, and talk to them. Maybe write in a diary or find a place that no one knows about and think. Just dont ever feel like your alone, because, believe me, your not. Adults dont expect us kids to know things like this, and yet, here we are, crying oout for help. You have to just think, “is what im doing really worth hurting my body, and my family?” Just stay strong, and if you ever need to talk, remember that im here. Best regards,

xxSmiles

Answer #10

hmmm…puting down the is a good start

Answer #11

I’m 13 too. I’ve thought about suicide and get where you’re coming from.

My mum is a counselor and this is quite a problem with people now adays. My friend cut herself once and stopped shortly after, but I do get where your coming from. Especially because I personally have depression and my friend ending up having it too. This is what I recommend.

Cognitive Therapy Technique… Put one or two rubber bands on each wrist. Whenever you get sad and want to cut snap them. When my friend would get really sad she’d snap them harder, just as you would cut harder depending on how bad you feel.

Ask yourself…

-Do I seriously want to die from this? -Why do I do this? -What would I do if a friend was cutting themselves? -How I help them in there time of need? -Do I want to commit suicide and die?

Call the NSL! This is the National Suicide Line. They can help you and talk to you about your problem and they won’t be pushy. They will help you! They sit around just to help you. It’s pretty cool in my opinion. ;D I know it says suicide, but cutting yourself is usually a sign you want to die. USUALLY! Not always though.

Anyways, if you ever want to talk message me and I’m here to help!

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