Due to struggles with alcohol, a recent family death, losing my home in the flooding, etc, I recently lost several close friends whom I am no longer supposed to contact. They are being understanding, and are willing to chat when we bump into eachother, but due to the rampant drama in my life, they would prefer if we don't call or hang out with eachother. I have had trouble letting go, and while I agreed to not contact them starting in June, until October, I would occasionally try to contact them because I felt abandoned and lonely.
I've been sober for over a month and am also dealing with depression and issues with my form of Autism quite well. However, while I was still drinking, about a month and a half ago, I tried to kill myself. And while I have still had urges, I will never try to do it again, and am feeling exponentially better every single day.
But I still have depression about the friends I'd lost. A doctor suggested that I should contact all of my friends (including those I no longer speak with) and tell them what happened so I can build a support network. And I would love to, as I've been spread really thin with my job, helping my family rebuilt their lives after losing relatives and their home, etc. But I'm worried about contacting those people I'm not supposed to talk to. I don't want to be annoying, and while I miss them, I haven't contacted them in about a month. Should I tell them about what happened like the doctor suggested? I don't want them to pity me.
i guess that is truly up to them, you can only explain what happened- those of them that feel like reaching out will do just that- those who don't i would allow to go their own way.
back about 15 years ago i quit drinking entirely- i had a few bouts with serious depression and attempted suicide and chronic cutting, the difference here is that my circle of friends were very unhealthy for me and i had to leave them behind entirely in order for me to rebuild my life and maintain my sobriety . did i miss those friends? sure, they were like family to me and we shared some truly fun times, i realized that if i maintained those friendships they would ultimately make me fall off the wagon and i would remain a drunk. this is something that you will need to look at in deciding who to contact and who not to.
i have been sober for the past 15 going on 16 years and have only come across those friends very briefly a couple of times- what i noticed was how they were stuck in the same old drunken rut they were in 15 years ago.
as for the cutting i was able to leave that behind as well, the urges sometimes crop up when i am facing some hardship- but sobriety allows me to face those urges and not give in to them- knowing what my behavioral trigger was and being prepared to face it in a positive way without cutting. the same holds true for my suicidal urges- sobriety is a powerful tool to wield against your troubles- i decided I WAS IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE, NOT THE BOTTLE- and it was simple as that.
so- my advice would be to list out your friends and decide who would be a supportive and POSITIVE influence in your " life rebuild", leave behind anyone who was an 'enabler' to your drinking and would only represent a NEGATIVE influence on your life going from this point on.
I actually don't think any of them would be a negative influence. A lot of them stopped talking to me because I was becoming a negative influence on them, and was flooding them with negativity.am I supposed to be sore
How about sending them an email rather than talking to them in person? That is less of an intrusion and if they want to re-connect etc they can and if not, then that's easy, too.Can I get contacts with perfect vision?