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Why choose to only see one side of a person?

I’ve changed some over the past year. I used to be quite pessimistic, negative, depressing, etc. Now I’m a lot more optimistic, positive, and upbeat. My general personality is still the same and so is my knowledge. Yet, one of my best friends doesn’t seem to notice to good changes. Most people still expect me to freak out and over-react to things and then be down about it. On the flip side, my friend seems to think other things about me, mainly my brains, have changed. He explains simple, common knowledge things as well as expecting me to know things that aren’t my specialty of my study in college and stuff like that….stuff that isn’t exactly common knowledge. He calls me out when I make mistakes too all of a sudden…even when I’m not wrong. He pushes to prove that he’s right too. I can give him sources for information but he won’t still believe that what I shared is right…until someone else says it is.

This has all changed since he got this creepy girlfriend that no one likes because she’s creepy, a total poser, and thinks she knows everything about everything. He believes her without a second though but questions everything I share..even when I post a source with it. Sometimes when he’s called me out about something I posted as being wrong, it’s because she told it was wrong. He didn’t even look it up. Most of the time, he’s been wrong and I’ve actually been right.

I honestly kind of feel like he’s trying to push me away…only seeing what he wants to about me while only seeing what he wants to see in this other girl. She’s not at all the type of girl he’s dated or even fallen for in the past. He and I have been friends for 5-10 years. He’s never been this way until after they started dating. Does anyone have any ideas why this happening? I’ve tried talking to him about but he won’t. It’s really bugging me and it hurts me. He’s never done this before.

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Answer #1

It sounds likes he’s getting a bit too consumed in his relationship, quite a lot of people go through some changes when there in a relationship but usually the negatives just involve not spending as much time with your friends. Your friend sounds like he’s either really in love or blindly in love, which would explain that his new girlfriend is the only person that matters and only opinion that counts. It’s clear that his girlfriend is the reason for how he’s acing, but if you’ve tried talking about it he might just be too “in love” to listen to anything that puts her in a negative light. You could always try talking to her about it, just tell her how you 2 have been friends for a long time a that you feel like what she says to him is making him not respect your opinion as much. Otherwise try telling him about it again, when he’s not with his girlfriend.

Answer #2

They haven’t been together that long…only like 6 months. She’s a real creep and a poser. They don’t get to see each other much because they live over an hour away from each other and have very opposite schedules, and when they do, there’s been many fights before. Most of his friends don’t like her. I can only think of one who does. People keep forgetting that they’re even together. His family doesn’t like her either. He’s also cheated her several times that I know of, there could even be more.

Note, for whatever reason, the gf doesn’t like me. I think she’s even told lies about me that kicked out of a club that I was asked to join before she came into the picture but was still in my trial period for. Someone told the head guy I said stuff that I never did, and she was hanging about the leader not long before I got booted. Being that she’s dating one of my closest friends (whom also is in the club), it would be easy for her to claim that he told her that stuff.

This has kind of happened before. He and I will hang out a lot, talk a lot, and get really close. Then he backs off…like runs away. Usually it’s just not wanting to hang out, not replying to texts and stuff, and not texting me or asking me to hang out. His family has thought we’ve dated before and my family thinks that we are most of the time. He’s even started pointless fights before to get us to stop being so close…in fact, he started one right before he started dating this girl. But he always comes back. It’s really weird.

Answer #3

Oh, and he’s done the get close and run away while he’s dated other people before too. And this girl is the total opposite of anything that he’s ever had a serious thing for before, as well as what he looks for in a women. He’s told me some of the things he likes in a woman and she isn’t that at all. He seems to only see her how he wants to see her. It’s almost like he’s making himself like her or something.

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