Is this child abuse??

I’m not sure. I mean, is being yelled at and screamed at and threatened and grabbed roughly and shaken when you are very small child abuse?

My father used to do the belt crack threat to scare me when I was somewhere around 4 years old and give me the choice of 10 spanks or 3 with the belt. I’m not sure if it was abuse. I used to be threatened a lot and yelled at if I cried about it. You know, the whole ‘Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about’ thing. My parents thing was always that I was very lucky I wasn’t raised by my grandparents. I got hit a good amount, but everyone gets hit so it’s really no big deal.

My mother threatened me with suicide and there were a number of events where she lost it on me and slammed my head against a wall for instigating her by cleaning too slowly or making my brother angry because he had epilepsy and that means a person has no control over their temper. My father only punched me maybe three or four times and only once was it that bad, at the dinner table and repeatedly because I had told my mother earler in the day to be quiet a minute.

They called me a fat-ass though I was pretty thin and my mother used to make fun of me a lot. I got jumped once and dropped on a rock and broke a rib and when I went back to my ouse crying and weezing she copied my weezing and laughed at me. I have a broken collar-bone I don’t know where I got and when I asked no one seems to know.

I was a pretty good kid, didn’t talk back and wasn’t that into drugs and stuff, but I wonder if that’s because I was punished as I was. I know I was very afraid of my parents, but everyone is and that’s just normal.

As my mother said, she knew I would be lazy because I was born three weeks past my due date, so some part of me figures I was also born weak and unable to deal with the things above even though it’s a pretty normal thing for children to go through.