What do you do when the one you care about smokes and does weed?

shes 13. i hav no problem with weed(no interest in trying it tho) but cigarettes are very addictive and i care about her and dont want her to do something so potentially harmful ps she doesnt know how much I care about her yet

Answer #1

Tell them how you feel. If they choose to continue then the choice is up to you if you want to be surrounded by that type of negitivity. I can honestly say that I do not have a single friend that does anything of the sort, simply because I do not want to be around it.

Answer #2

Try to help him quit. Lead him down the right path to get better.

Answer #3

its a her, and I dont want to be blunt. we have only been together for a little while, and while I care about her, it has been bugging me. I havea tendancy to overthink everything, and wen theres no logic involved, mythoughts go in circles for hours. I’m only worried about her, not the “negitivity” it may bring to me. In this case, all I care about is her safety and wellbeing

Answer #4

My ex girlfriend smoked weed a lot when she was stressed out. While I was with her, I tried to express my concerns and feelings to her. It didn’t work out for me, but I think that it’s always worth a go, especially if you care. When you go to talk to her, try not to be judgmental. Always remember how it would feel if it were you who was in her position, and how it is that you would want to be approached about it. If she tells you why she does it, try to be understanding. If she wants to quit it, let her know that you’ll be there to support her through it.

Answer #5

Ask them why they won’t share.

Answer #6

dont be a d1ck im serious. u have obviously never cared about anyone

Answer #7

My brother is a big pothead and smoke cigarettes too. I understand completely; tell her how you feel before it’s far too late because that time comes sooner than you excpect. Have the guts to do what I didn’t:/

Answer #8

she isn’t a “big pothead,” but thanks for the advice

Answer #9

its a her, and I dont want to be blunt. we have only been together for a little while, and while I care about her, it has been bugging me. I havea tendancy to overthink everything, and wen theres no logic involved, mythoughts go in circles for hours. I’m only worried about her, not the “negitivity” it may bring to me. In this case, all I care about is her safety and wellbeing

Answer #10

im 14 ive dated so many smokers and pot heads and drug dealers it not even funny dont lecture them because chances say that there just ganna rebel against you instead tell her how u feel and that u want to help her stop that ur worried because u really care about her

Answer #11

She’ll be fine. I hope she gets a job when she turns 16 so she can pay for it on her own. I dont think her parents will be too impressed with where her lunch money is going. :+)

Answer #12


Answer #13

Try to talk to them, tell them how you feel, and let them know it hurts you ): Be understanding, but try to get them to quit. <3 If they really care about you, they’ll try they’re best (:

Answer #14

like everyone said, tell her how you feel. She IS only 13 so that is a bit scary. good news is that i guess a study shows that weed is only psyhcologically addicting, not physically like ciggarettes, so if she chooses to quit she can easily find a different habit. Smokers of ciggarettes tend to have a hard time finding a new thing to do since they need the nicotine etc. So on that one, that might take more time and support.

More good news, 13 year old girls have a need to be loved. If you kind of hint that it really bothers you, she will most likely freak that you may leave and drop the habit right away. Thats the benefit of her being so young and hormone drivin,she just wants you to like her. tell her how you feel, and im sure she will adapt to it. Thats just how 13 year old girls are

Answer #15

fuk off im serious dont be such a d1ck and get a fuking life I care about her so dont be makin jokes

Answer #16

lighten up… if you love them, you should love them for who they are and what they love & like! stop judging - if you cant handle who they are, then you shouldn’t be with them…

Answer #17

you need to talk to him or her and help them and inform them of the dangers of weed. be firm and persistant. show him/her that you care and don’t give up :)…

Answer #18

well depends.. i mean whats seriously so wrong with weed??? think about it how many people has it killed???? its used for all kinds of treatments that has shown successful help. such as depression, chronic pain and more….. because a group of people decided it was not good does it really mean it is… the reason weed became illegal is because soilers did not wanna go to war because the weed made them feel peaceful……only problem i find with it is its illegal but for stupid reasons…… if anything alcohol should be illegal…. oo and for the information weed does not make you stupid….. stupid people who smoke pot become stupider lol and smart people actually becomes smarter i know this because well i am smart

Answer #19

my main prob is the cigs, weed isnt so bad. im more concerned with the problems she will have with the law.

Answer #20

im not judging. i care and i dont want them to get hurt. if i cant help, ill still wanna be with her, i just dont want her 2 get hurt

Answer #21

i dont want her to “freak” im only doin this 4 her one of u guys seem 2 get this im trying to help her not me and makin her think ill leave her is not my goal or a good path to accomplish my goal

Answer #22

okay ,i also think you should have a look conversation with them ,get the reason ,,and listen and think about what they talk!!Maybe they have their own reason !

Answer #23

my exboyfriend did, and i didnt want him to.. soo i gave him many chances to at least stop or cut down on the weed.. but he wouldn’t so i ended up breaking up with him because i guess weed was more important.. i know you can get “addicted” to weed but you should be able to overcome an addiction for the one you love.

Answer #24

To go onto what Shadow has to say. It does not exactly make people smarter, what it does is increase blood flow to your frontal lobe which increase your creativity and problem solving while also inhibiting your amygdala and hippocampus. That’s half good and half bad, you don’t store new pieces of info as well, but you are not as anxious on average, and not as afraid of things. It’s a positive though, but sorry shadow, weed does not make you smarter. Maybe more creative, or gives you a different way of thinking about things but does not make you smarter (I’m a Neuroscience and psychology double at Regis U.) Please feel free to contact me about the effects of Marijuana on the body, I’m also a debater and this is an area I specialize in because it has become so central to our society.

Answer #25

Superior Quality Kratom

Answer #26

I agree with the original poster, weed really isn’t so much an issue. I’m a little wary of someone only 13 doing it because it can stunt your development, but by 14-16 your brain is pretty much done growing. Someone said it doesn’t make you smarter, but that isn’t strictly true - I personally have ADHD and a severe anxiety disorder, and it ‘slows down’ my thoughts into a more understandable and linear form. But it doesn’t do anything for me Ritalin wouldn’t do for a kid with ADHD, and if you have no mental disorders that hinder your intelligence to begin with like I do, it’s true, it won’t make you any smarter.

Anyway, as to the cigs, that’s a definate no. I honestly would consider talking to their parents. Not just because cigs are extremely addictive, especially when you begin smoking that young, but because of the long-term lung damage. People are getting lung cancer and dying from it younger every year, and doctors from what I’ve read are attributing it to people beginning to smoke younger and younger. The final point I should make is that I quit smoking cigs about two years ago and never looked back, mainly because I was born with very small bronchial tubes, and the doctor said it would be extremely damaging for me to pollute my lungs with two things. Weed clogs the larger passageways in your lungs while tobacco clogs the smaller ones, so the two of them could be more dangerous together than either one alone. Your mileage may vary, of course.

Talk to your friend, tell them you care about them and that you want them to be around for a good long while, maybe take them to the hospital and show them a patient dying from lung cancer. If you can’t find one, show them this guy: [link removed]

I am not a doctor, but all of this comes from many years of reading online about the dangers and effects of various substances. I’m 27 and I’ve pretty much done it all and come back, so I like to think I’ve learned a thing or two.

More Like This

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups

Ask an advisor one-on-one!

Psychic Source

Psychic Readings, Love Advice, Relationship Guidance



Social Services, Relationships, Marriage


Be a Blushing Bride

Wedding Services, Online Dating, International Relationships



Relationship Advice, Women's Lifestyle, Social Issues


Dating Advisors

Dating Services, Customer Service, Help Center