Can you ever fall out of love?

I was with a guy for three months we broke up and got back together and were together for a year and two weeks. We broke up last Feb. I still loved him and I wanted to be with him. What ever I did I couldn’t get over him. 6 months later we hooked up. I thought he might have feelings for me but after that night he ignored me. 2 months later we hooked up again and I was honest with him I told him I still loved him and that what we were doing ment more to me than just hooking up. After that things were great again. I thought we might have a chance to get back together. 1 month of things being great and then he started to avoid me agian. I was confused and I asked him what was up. He said I need to get over him because I can do better than him. He kept telling me I make him feel things that he doesnt want to feel. I have cared about this guy for so long. It doesn’t help that he’s my best friends brother either. Now I’m with someone and I’m happy, I feel like I’m over him but I really want to know. Did I stop loving him or will I never stop? As soon as I’m not with this person will I feel like I still love him? Can you fall in love again even if you have already given your heart to someone else and thay didn’t want it?

Answer #1

This whole “give your heart to someone” thing is load of crap, probably spoonfed to you by people who don’t have a clue how the brain works. If you break-up with him, yep, you’ll feel like you still love him. In fact, the way love works, you’ll feel even more for him than you did while together; loss makes you feel much, much more in love. Given that you’re still and adolescent, it’s no wonder your feelings would be so strong, and let alone that they may sway to and fro. Just about everything about the adolescent mind is different than the adult mind.

Anyway, truth is, we can fall in love with multiple people, and we can certainly stop loving someone else too. A likely situation for you might be that you leave this guy, and then find someone else later, and fall in love with them.

If you’re interested, check-out this TED Talk: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html

(Also might want to watch her other talk, listed as “What to watch next” in the side bar on the right.)

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