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How can I break away from my ex's children?
After 4 years my ex and I split up. I have been the only mother they’ve known since their real mother left after the youngest was born. The problem I’m having is that I am about to be married and my new husband doesn’t feel comfortable with having my ex’s children over for the weekend, though he hasn’t said no, it puts him in a weird spot. How to I disconnect from my ex’s children? It just breaks my heart but if I was in my husband’s shoes, I would feel the same way.
Thats such a difficult situation, although i dont recommend breaking all ties from the children. They are children afterall and wont understand if you just up and ignore them and dont talk or see them anymore. Your new husband needs to be understanding, while they may not be your biological children, you raised them and were a mother figure. He wouldnt want you to just abandon children that were biologically yours. You can cut down on the time spent with them, but make sure they know you still love them. You can send them cards and little presents, have play dates where your husband comes along, etc.
Motherhood is relationship as much as heredity. If you are the only mother your kids have known for the last 4 years than you are their mom and they are your kids. Put yourself in their position. Their biological mother abandoned them then the woman who they grew to love and who served as their mom for 4 years also wants to move on and abandoned them.
They are not your ex’s kids, they are your kids even if you didn’t bare them. You husband has to understand that they are part of the package.
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